Apathy
Hello All!
I've been using 7Cups for a good little bit, but I recently made a new account because I just felt the need to... I guess.
I was wondering if any of y'all really struggle with experiencing apathy? I've always struggled with it to a degree. Most of my depressive episodes eventually end because my brain just kinda turns everything off and I'll go through a few days or weeks of apathy where it's just more difficult to identify my emotions, but I still feel them. But more recently, starting in about June of 2023, the apathy has been ever-increasing. Every time I go through an intense depressive episode (which I've had many over the last several months), the apathy gets worse and lasts longer. It's gotten to the point where it almost doesn't even feel like I'm able to experience depression? Like I don't feel the hopelessness or lack of motivation. It still shows up in my inability to get up, but my body doesn't feel heavy. I know I get anxious because my hands shake and my body feels wobbly but I no longer get the feeling of something heavy on my chest or the knot in my stomach. I don't get the physical sensations anymore. Just wondering if others experience this and how you deal with it? Or if there's any advice you have to give? This is new and I'm not going to be able to talk to a professional about this any time soon.
@octukai I am sorry to hear that you're struggling with increased apathy during your recent depressive episodes, Octu. Feeling emotionally numb can be distressing and impact daily functioning. But I am glad you here and sharing with us. I appreciate your efforts and please know you are not alone in this. We are all here to support you. Can you share more about what you mean by "wobbly"? How does it feel?
@octukai awww sweetie that must be really hard for you to know your going down this path, unwillingly😥 I've never experienced this so I'm not sure how to comfort you best, so I'm just gonna give you a giant tiny hug ❤ squeezes you tightly ❤❤
@octukai why do I relate to this so much? It's been so long. Like I can feel, but it mostly doesn't show up on my body. Is this called apathy?
I just let it be I guess. I do meditate for a few minutes a few times a week. But for me, the root of my problems is because I avoid things a lot. I couldn't get myself to do some things, because it seems meaningless to me. Every time I try to think about confronting my problems, my thoughts circle back to meaninglessness.
But meditation did help me focus on the sensations on my body and help me move on. The apathy itself doesn't bother me anymore. Though I don't think that this is a good thing.
Hope you'll get through this!