Beck for more

Seems like it’s been a while cense I used this kinda just gave up and went with old fateful Just keep whatever you got to ya self and keep putting one heavy foot in front of the other I guess this is my way of screaming into the night so have fun reading or don’t meh…

back for trying to maybe and a stretch that maybe because the other me that part of me that is the problem I don’t really want to get rid of it it’s the only thing I know at the end of the day will be there it won’t leave me Its my best friend my ride is die sad I think of it as that but I generally don’t know who I’d be without whatever it is it makes me who I am and much I make it who it is.

if tryed to explain to friends and my partner that I just don’t really care about anything anymore it’s all just white noice simple little things are drain me of so much energy and I have to do them because who the F ells is going too I don’t have someone who’ll take the rains I don’t have someone to go out and make bank and let me just have one moment where am not fighting the urge to go to sleep or just let my body fall and god I wish I didn’t have the will power to keep myself standing because my god I’d pay or be able to be one of them people who can just collapse over and be like I can’t I just can’t get up no I’ve got to scrap and scratch and claw my way to me feet fell the pain of my body screaming for a moment of death

all the things I liked my so called hobbies attempts at trying to make something of myself just annoy me and yes am aware a part of that is the voices saying why bother it won’t matter either way if you do this thing or not your just an other 1 vs the 100 the one vs the many your just a spect of dust waiting for the wind to blow your way

apart of me wants to leave something behind to be remembered by something for one person just one to say they know I was here that it did make a difference anyway not fished but am tried and sleep is calling so meh….