Blue and numb
I feel...numb. I can't tell my family what I'm going through because they're strict. Now they're gonna seize my phone. It's not helping that I'm constantly anxious daily. I know I should get professional help- about five years ago, my school counselor suspected I'd got depression but my family never sent me to therapy. I'm 18 now, feel like ***( surprising from someone who's 90%numb). I just...I wish I had someone to talk to. It's a suffocating feeling, a feeling like I'm going mad. God could help...but wre not on good terms...
@aestheticallyanxious22
I have felt completely numb before. So much so that I couldn't cry. So much so I couldn't mourn the passing of loved pets. It's a difficult life when one is depressed. My heart goes out to you.
I'm happy to talk to you! About anything, even if it's not related to the issue. Sometimes a bit of distraction can ease the burden. It's entirely up to you.
You've already taken a big step by posting this. I wish I had done that when I was depressed! You can take pride in your strength. There is great value in reflection, and this is just a start.
Thanks for the nice words....tho my phone is gonna be seized because my mom thinks I'm "straying away from God". I just realized I keep getting angry for no reason, and i snap a lot, something my family tells me often. Yes,I make my research and though it says I may have anxiety, depression and other stuff,I'd need a professional first. Then again,I can't see a professional yet....(Long story)... Anyway,it was nice posting this nice typing this before my phone gets officially seized.( Yes, I am 18 and still has my phone seized often. Perks of having a strict African mom😅)
@aestheticallyanxious22
This is not the end. That you are so young yet aware you could benefit from professional help is huge. It shows you are reflective and willing to change. That isn't exactly common. You may not have the opportunities you want and need at the moment, but I believe you can weather this storm.
I'm sorry your phone is being taken away. Try not to dwell on that for too long... it isn't an ideal situation, but if you lament the loss of your phone too much it will only add to the pain.
Can you journal in the meantime? It's not as convenient as a phone but it allows one to ponder.
Best wishes friend. I have a lot of faith in you.
Unfortunately, I can't. I'd literally bought a book for that, but my African mom would wanna know and it could go downhill.
She's not into mental health and stuff. Last time my school counselor had told my dad about me having depression,well I was mocked so,yhhh. Not happening again.
So it's either I pray to God that I get healed(which I have to the point of exasperation) or....I just do nothing.
Anyway, I'll go now. Before they were anything. Thanks for the kind words,tho. Though I feel pessimistic, I hope it gets better, I guess
@aestheticallyanxious22
Hold onto that hope, friend. I do believe things will get better.