Breakup with a girl that suffers from Bulimia
This girl, I meeted by wink, a dating app, suffered from Bulimia, I’m from Valencia, and despite that illness and the distance, 2h by car from her, we started knowing each other more and more and early we got a strong feeling between us. We loved a lot as friends, and we both wanted to be more than that but the distance was a problem. She was in some moment really really into me.
I visited her in Albacete 6 months after texting for the first time, and the conexion in person was just magical, I never had something like that. Laughing 24/7 and everything was just fantastic. Suddenly, one of those days I spended with her in her house. She started with a bulimia attack thinking she wasn’t enough for me and I tried to help her but she was just really really bad and I got an anxiety attack as well for seeing her that badly and she was saying me so many weird things that made me think that I was never going to see her again (thing that was true but at the moment I didn’t knew it).
At Monday, the day after. She told me that the best was to stay as just friends and leave that kind of contact. I felt so do so so heart broken I was just like a child, really ilusionanted about a future together as we talked hundreds of times. I thought I finally founded the one, the one that matched me perfectly. And now I ended up blocking her after she being mean with me at saying that she would not “not miss you ever” and “see you forever”. I felt those words as bullets in my chest. I couldn’t realise a girl like she said that to me after all we meant to each other, after all the effort and care I gived to her and the love she gave to me despite she being a really shy person. After that amazing first contact were she gave me a surprise and present. After a month I’m still really hurted and still think of her everyday.
I know time will heal, but I loved her so much, I never felt that in someone and I really now feel as if a part of me has leaved. I really wanted the best for her, the words she told me… I thought I would help her a lot, I helped her once she was inside the hospital. When I met her, she was still inside and we had to talk only on weekends. And I kept talking with her, and she thanked me eternally what I did for her, she was really proud and felt lucky of having me in her life.
im still 18 years old and I feel somehow that I will not find someone like her, she was all I wanted after a long 2 years battelling with my depression. And she helped me a lot and I did to her, we thought we were meant to be together. And I fell as if my soul mate as she said, left me.
@indigoMap6339 First of all, I feel your pain. Losing someone that you thought was so very special is very hard. For a young adult, you seem very smart. You were able to share your feelings in a way that showed me that you understand that this person has some very big challenges. Large struggles mean that people try to work through them in all sorts of ways. Without the proper guidance, she may be expressing her pain in emotional ways. You may just be standing in her pain's path, if that makes sense, so you received her pain. Those words may have nothing to do with you, personally. But directing pain toward someone else is a way to cope, even when it's not the best choice.
While it is hard to move on, the stars may not be aligning when it comes to the two of you at this time in life. The distance is hard. Her struggles are real, and she must be willing to work on these in order to learn how to communicate in a healthy way that allows relationships to grow. You appreciated the goodness that is inside her, and I believe - in time - she will realize that you made the best choices you could, based on your life and how you live it today. When relationships fail, our best path forward is to learn and grow, and find people who offer the trust and respect we need to feel safe in love. Those things mean different things to each person, and it can take a lot of "practice" to find someone who matches up with you in a forever kind of way. It can take a while for two people to be truly comfortable with one another in a way that allows them to understand whether they are a truly compatible match.
Take care, and I wish you well as you heal from this pain and learn to love again.
