Btw life and death
I'm the eldest daughter and perfect child of my family, all their expectations, dreams , wanted behaviors ...
I was the image of all of that but since years I started to loose myself ,and I'm not talking about the image itself.
Thoughts like I'm not good enough, I'll never be more than a burden, why I'm still alive started to pop in every day and caused me sleep problems and even suicidal thoughts and I ended up harming myself at the age of 15 , I found peaceful ( how funny to say that ) . I didn't tell anyone about it and kept it to myself.
I didn't want to get my parents or any of my family involved and somehow kept the mask on and the achievements especially in studies.
I'm now 19 years old , I stopped the self harm a year ago and managed all that time to not make my scars obvious. I'm an university student now with depression, anxiety and low self esteem ofc . I never went to a therapy but now I started to think about it .
Thanks for all who listen to me ( my English is not perfect cuz it's not my first language, sorry for the mistakes)
@kindMap1333
Thank you for sharing. Your English is exceptional.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Self esteem is so fundamental to everything, the smallest issue with it can have a big impact.
Congratulations on a year without self harm. 🍾 🎉 I also dabbled in self harm as a result of poor self esteem. So I can relate and know exactly what an achievement that is. Your feelings are valid and the frustrations very real. The expectation to be perfect is so common but so harmful. Sometimes it is time to have a little fun, celebrating making mistakes. Have you ever celebrated a mistake you have made, simply because it makes you human and wonderful?
Because, you know, you are wonderful. Just for existing. That is wonderful. You don't need to achieve anything, to be wonderful.