Cannot hold down a job, becoming a burden
I've never been able to do it my entire adult life. Every job always makes me so anxious that I can't sleep or eat and then I don't want to be alive anymore. I just don't get the point of living if I'm going to be terrified every day and unable to feel anything. That process as repeated for years, and I know that it's wearing out everyone around me. I don't know what to do anymore. In the past I at least tried to get a job every few months and grit my teeth through it but that's never worked for more than a few weeks. But, I haven't been employed in a year and I can tell my family is mad at me even if they won't say it directly. I really don't want to start working again but I am trying to get a job right now...
I don't know why I bother staying alive if I'm going to be miserable all the time.
Hi @azureBunny517.
Nobody expects you to live a miserable lifestyle..
I hope things turn around and you see life as it should be..
I'm talking about having more good days than bad days.
I hope one day soon you have a breakthrough moment where you discover the happiness you desire..🌟
Please don't think you are the only one. Starting any job is anxiety ridden and you are feeling all the emotions but you gotta remember, it's only temporary. That anxiety will pass. But if you feel so disabled that you can't work, look into your local states disability and see what you can get for depression or anxiety. You might be surprised what help is out there and as for your family, ask them for help. Sit them down and say I really need support and that you can't do it alone. A support circle is such a great and beneficial thing for people like us.
Hi @azureBunny517. What is it about working that feels so terrifying to you specifically? What do you feel could happen? Is it every job?
@azureBunny517
I do not want to sound unsupportive but so many now seem not able to hold a job or feel all is miserable. No one says whatever you face this year or next year is what you will be doing all your life. Most savor a few good days to get past the boring and unsatisfying ones. The idea everyone else LOVES what they do or feel happy at work is a fantasy.
We do not stick with items we may feel what is the point. Life is a journey and small steps lead to better outcomes and the good things in life. We need money and a goal to make life make sense... or whatever you feel is the opposite of miserable. I find life has a lot of mundane between moments that make it worth living.
I think of photographs we take at good and memorable moments we do not record the boredom, mundane and miserable moments between good times. It does not get easier chasing a what if........... the next job will have issues too......... we all get anxious at jobs some days are better than others but starting over at new jobs only would add stress IMO.
Your family may feel worried or upset that you are having it so hard. They may not know how to help you either. Trying to start a new job because your feel forced into it most likely will end like before. make a choice based on you not feeling forced ... if jobs do not suit you try something new until you do find something you can cope with ... along the way you may find something you are great at or people that can inspire you...