Career and depression
Does anyone else feel the urge to self-mutilate or do something else drastic just to make your suffering 'serious enough' to not go to work?
I know that says a lot more about me than it does about my job, but continuing on like this is painful when I'm just functional enough to show up, but not functional enough to change anything or enjoy much of anything. Thinking about continuing on this way sends me spiraling.
And don't say 'it'll get better!' because I've been depressed for a decade and it has only really gotten worse. Sometimes the last thing a person with depression needs is empty positive reassurances.
I know depression can just be a cry for change in your life, but I feel like I've been locked in a cage that no quirky career change or spontaneous roadtrip is going to help.
I want to quit everything but I don't know what I want other than that.
I am so sorry that you have been suffering for so long. I won't say that things will necessarily get better. But you still deserve someone to vent to and try to figure out how to move forward.
Feel free to vent anytime you want to here in this thread. What kind of job do you do? @determinedSea4370
@bestVase7265 Thanks. I teach art part-time. That sounds like an easy job, but for someone like me it just isn't lol. And I do have my good days at the job, so it really is me and not the job itself. Like when things all go well, I feel like I'm floating on a pink cloud or something- if I can get a handle on myself, I think I do actually enjoy the job.
It is easy to go between loving a job and struggling to complete it at all with depression. When I am down in the depths even finding the energy and courage to walk into my classroom (I teach at a private college) can be a real challenge. I find once I get there I am usually okay and usually am surprised afterwards that I survived, but getting there is the tough part.@determinedSea4370
Yes, there were also times where it was almost harder to be at home than at work because I had too much time to think. That's also part of depression.
But the walking was really life altering for me, especially once I started doing it daily for a few weeks. I was so surprised at how much it helped. I don't do more than about 3000 steps sometimes broken up over several outings, but it really began to change things. I do it no matter what the weather.
By the way, if you write tomorrow and I don't respond right away please forgive me. I have to work from 7:15 am -9:30 pm so it is a crazy busy day. But I will very much be back the next night.
