Crying helps

I’ve been in the darkest place for quite a long time now. I am alone mentally, physically surrounded by millions who think I am “doing great, optimistic and positive”. Am I very good at masking, or people just don’t care to notice?

I randomly have severe crying episodes. Everything just floods in. The trauma, the downfalls, the unworthiness. It all comes out at the weirdest times. But honestly, i feel much more relieved after letting it out. I mean, the dark cloud is still there roaming over my head 24/7.. but it’s the momentary relief. It’s the silence and the last sigh. “I feel better, for now at least.”