Depression and a failure
I’m a 31-year-old man with no real serious dating experience, and I’m struggling with intense limerence/attachment toward a woman I know through work.
I’m trying to handle this responsibly and keep it contained. But emotionally, it has become very painful.
She is getting married in July, and that hurts more than I expected. I know she has her own life, her own relationship, and her own future. I know I’m not entitled to anything from her. But I still feel a deep sense of loss, jealousy, grief, and despair around it.
Part of the issue is that she feels unusually significant to me. I see her as intelligent, logical, grounded, emotionally sharp, and hard to replace. I worry that I’ve idealised her, but the feelings still feel real. It makes me feel like no one else will compare, and that I’ve somehow missed my chance at something important.
Has anyone felt like this? I just feel like a total loser.
@Bluesman15
You are absolutely not a loser in any way at all 💙
It's not always easy navigating these things.
It's hard when we have unrequited feelings and yes, it's easy to fall into the trap of idealising someone especially when we are lonely.
But none of this is unusual and not a reflection of your worth 💙
That’s such a real feeling 💙
I’m pretty young, but I think I know exactly what you mean 💙 where you wish you’re paths didn’t just meet and… move on
Love can be so cruel sometimes. It’s merciless because it stays whether or not it can ever be satisfied 💙
You’re not a loser for feeling this 💙 you’re clearly self-aware & considerate, I hope you find the person you’re looking for
You deserve it 💙