Does it ever stop?
Does it ever stop from begging for the love that you’re supposed to have for being born? Does it ever stop the constant need to be reminded that I’m not anyone’s person and that no matter how hard I try there’s no way someone will pick me to be a friend of them
Pain will consume everything you love or cherished in your life but will it ever stop?
Do I have to become more of a shell of the person that I used to be to prove that this isn’t me and that this isn’t normal to deserve the actual support that I need?
Can’t they just see what happened to me? Do they not feel it?
You know what happened
You saw what happened
*** you were the reason why it happened
And you still refuse to see me for who I am
The emptiness will swallow me eventually
This darkness that I’m living in will be my home forever
And then you’ll be looking back and say Yeah… I really begged for love but that’s my why
Until the thoughts return
And you’re left with the lost case of a kid you are
Never enough and never loved
The lost case kid with what used to be the energetic one
Till you dulled my life when I was 6
A six year old kid had to choose between his parents because both of them went on a challenge onto who’s word goes around
Left alone in a damp bed every night because fear was my closest friend that no body knew about
Too scared that they will make me alone again
Until fear is gone and you’re left with the same emptiness
I don’t have anyone to talk to about
And if I do they just want to leave
Just want to run from the topic because it was too intense for them to handle
No one cares about their depressed friends until they do something that require their attention
And even so
Most cases are not met with their expectations
It pushes someone to the far corner of their darkness and they’re forced to handle the pain again
Some don’t survive the pain
Some would handle it because the thought of feeling the things they have inside is so overwhelming that they choose pain over it
One day everyone is gonna understand
Everyone will know how bad it was
I pray for it not to be my last
Because God i really want to see the look on your face mom when I tell you the whole story and how I felt
