Emptiness in my heart. There is always something missing.
Its an constant emptiness inside me following me everywhere.
I have done theraphy, finished meds course and improved compared to earlier. Meds were tapered down and whatever remaining is there, my doctor suggested to learn to cope.
I engage in hobbies - painting, bike, music, meditate etc. & journal. Somehow i am doing all that but its just at the surface. The only movement i find joy is when i have a minor eureka moment when i have a breakthrough. Nothing else excites me except introspecting my thoughts as if something is there inside but i am not paying enought attention & its just a step away from reaching it. Just don't know what it is or where.
@cyanCat3437
It is hard to compare as we all have our own things.... many feel a similar thing ...hobbies and activities i do not think fill people up.... even relationships we have moments that something is missing.
Those of us that may have depression or other mental health challenges are often chasing an imaginary "thing" that will fill us up and solve any boredom and depression etc. We look around to others whom seem happy or fulfilled .... when they too have time when they fill empty or missing something ... that IMO is a normal reaction.
You are 100% right. Those are really wise words.
Depression has always been with me since my childhood but it was just a companion. Lately it became bothersome robbing me of capacity to like or appreciate something truly and it's meaningful to me.
Hence if there is a slight possibility of me being truly involved with my family during quality time, not half hearted at work tasks or appreciate the beauty of mixing colors like how I used to feel before, I would like to continue search for it. Not trying makes my emptiness grow even more, as if I have given up.