Failing at life
I don’t remember the last time I finished something and mastered it. I have such bad luck in everything. Nothing works out. Ever since age 13, I have been living on autopilot. Passed my school by cheating, failed highschool, had to do freshmen yr, failed uni, dropped out, can’t get a job, and when I applied to uni again and I was about to start, the visa got delayed and who knows if it’ll even work out so now I got an extra yr at home doing absolutely nth but feel worthless and gap years look bad for unis. I already wasted three yrs while my school friends are already graduating. Can’t do anything either bcz I’m short on money and the job market is so competitive these days, they need a degree for everything these days. Let alone, ever since that age, I’ve been getting constantly traumatized by ppl too. Got anxiety, ptsd and depression. Every time I picked up a hobby, I quit it after a few months. So yeah I have literally nothing left to even stay here for. Nothing to look forward to. Life is just so meaningless. Other than that, I feel dependent on my family all the time and as a girl I’m not allowed to do pretty much so many things according to my fam since they’re overprotective so yeah I just feel caged up and I want any possible way to just be finally independent emotionally and financially. Plus, I don’t have any friends at all, so yeah that sums my life up. I don’t even know if anyone will even read this, but oh well.
[Edited by FrenchMarbles because text colour was white]
There are lots of people who will read this and who will care. You are not alone.
You also aren't a failure. Things don't always happen on a particular timeline. I know that you feel behind, but there are people ahead of you who are falling in different ways that you can't even see.
So it sounds like you are trying to figure out the next year before attempting uni, correct? Maybe we can brainstorm a better path for that time.
You can do this slowly but surely. @Shatteredmusic