Feeling alone and stuck
I don’t post much but I’m not sure how else to express this. I just don’t have a good community right now. I have a few friends but it really bothers me how little people are willing to put into their relationships around me. Idk im just feeling really alone today. Been feeling like this for a long time now and exhausted by all the effort it takes to learn more about my depression and loneliness and trauma and then to feel like I have to carry all of it on my own and there’s no reasonable way to let anyone else in on it. I’ve noticed a kind of humming panic that’s been persistent the last few weeks. The kind you feel maybe when you’re about to do something really scary and there’s no going back (a really high jump into a water, or going to perform on stage) but it feels negative and like I only have myself to blame. Does anyone else feel this way?
I definitely feel you on that :/ life has been feeling so hopeless lately and I’m sick of it! I want to enjoy life again so bad. Even the littlest things I’m scared to do… this pain we carry I hope something can lift it off of us eventually:( it feels insufferable
Depression and trauma are really heavy. For people who never had it and were not trained to deal with it those topics might be uncomfortable. I am glad you expressed some of it here. It’s pretty unique place dedicated for it.
Do you feel like sharing more?
I’ve had some good listeners recently so I’ve shared a fair amount. I feel like I need (and I imagine everyone to some extent would) just like real life community. Long term friendships with people that share similar values. I’m not sure if I’m asking for too much but I just don’t have that. I’m not sure if there’s something I’m doing wrong, if I’m asking too much, if people are so antisocial (myself included) because of how social media and a global pandemic has distanced everyone that this sort of thing just doesn’t happen in the real world anymore. I mean my therapist suggested *** in our last session. I understand why online platforms are valuable but am I crazy for thinking there’s a benefit to being in real life with people who mutually support each other (which is hard work but to me it’s worth it) and experience a similar life to yours? The absence of all this is making anything else I was dealing with harder and I’m feeling pretty frustrated by it because I know I’m trying. Thanks for the comment and the question
@crimsonFarm7320
@crimsonFarm7320
sorry I don't know why my previous reply was blank - I am so grateful that you have shared your feelings here. I too have felt like this before and it is so hard to talk about sensitive topics like the ones you mentioned. Thank you for being courageous and sharing these feelings. I know it can be realy hard to speak up. What else can we do as a community to make you feel better?
Im not sure there’s much to do. I’m just not too sure what else to do at this point. I want to not go down this road but I feel a nagging concern that at least where I live there’s a broader problem that people aren’t willing to sit with what people in their lives are dealing with. Like maybe that’s too scary or something but I imagine that’s what real relationships are.