Help

I am blessed to have the friends I have. All though my group is small, we’re all each other needs I guess. We have shared so many memories together, and I truly appreciate them. I find myself distancing myself from them though and other people I care about. I feel as if I’m not appreciated or if I’m not interesting enough. I feel like without me nothing would change. Occasionally when I’m let’s say playing online with them I just go silent deep in my thoughts. I hear them enjoying themselves and I’m just there. There have been to many times where I’ve just ended off the night acting like I enjoyed myself but i really haven’t. I’m even afraid to ask people to do things as if like I’m a burden or that by asking I’m putting them in a tough spot. I live with dark thoughts and I even put myself down. My days consist of school and sleep. I even talk to people who I’m not as close with just cause it seems easier to talk to them because I could care less about how they perceive me. I don’t know how to get out of this hole of me isolating myself from the people I care about and not having the confidence to talk to them. I have no self love whatsoever and I could care less what happens to me. What should I do.