Here We Go Again
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder many calendar pages ago. About a year ago, I had reached a point with my therapist that we were just chatting so we wrapped things up. Since that time, I have been fairly stable. Anxious and depressed about things anyone would feel that way.
But recently, I have noticed some symptoms returning. I am overly emotional, up or down. I have little interest in doing pretty much anything. There are days were I don't get out of bed or just stay in my pj's all day, because I don't care about leaving the house. I'm not eating right. I sometimes skip a meal because I don't feel hungry, even though it's 7:00pm and I haven't eaten all day.
I'm semi-retired and work a couple days a week at a local convenience store. I find I have to "put on the happy mask" to deal with the customers. By the end of a 6 hour shift, I am physically exhausted. I also find I am falling back into perfectionism. Not projected on anyone else, but I can be brutal to myself for the simplest mistakes.
Some of this comes from loneliness. But it's more than that. I am trying to access my employer's Mental Health Resources for a new therapist, mainly because I can get short-term help for no cost to me. I just haven't heard back. I just needed to write this down and share it with somebody.
Jeff
@PapaJeff59
Thank you for sharing. We go through harsh lonely situations sometimes.. I hope you get a new therapist, we need you to feel better.
Hi Jeff, i will be praying you hear back from your employers mental health resources soon. in the meantime give yourself some grace, give yourself some time to rest. all you can do is take it one day at a time. what you're feeling is temporary, you won't feel this way forever. take care of yourself. even though you don't feel like eating, maybe order your favorite take out or make your favorite meal. even though you dont feel like getting out, try to make yourself. go do something that brings you joy, go find a good book to read, a craft to do, or see a movie you've been wanting to see. or if you can't just stay in your pj's in your bed all day, there is nothing wrong with that!
praying He comforts your hurting heart tonight.