Hi

I don't really know how to start, I'm still pretty new here, but I did create one thread on here. Sadly, it got worse. Test results say that I may have light or moderate depression and maybe you find it that interesting to actually read a text where I simply write about my current situation.

Alright, the thing is that I've been very often down lately. Enough for ChatGPT to say in every sentence that I should get help my a Professional. And that's not what I'll do. I hate people and I have social anxiety wich makes it even harder to talk to people. Fact is that I just don't like talking or being near people. This sadly includes my family and friends. They're not very supportive. I don't talk about my feelings to anyone, only a thread here. And this already takes some effort for me.

I feel just bad. I'm sad everyday and even spending time with my Hobbies isn't making it better. This sadness comes everyday and I don't know why. I also don't eat that much and sleep that much anymore. I've been told (By ChatGPT) to get some professional help, but I'm scared to reach out to anyone. It's been getting worse over the past 3 days. Like getting sad when I had a distraction happens more often, or I ignore my friends and distance myself from them, or I also cry more often.

(I don't know if I need to put a triggerwarning here for suicide mentions, but in case I need to, I mentioned suicide)

One thing that I could mention is that I'm not suicidal or anything but I do think I'd be better off dead. My question is if that's harmless or if that goes into being suicidal.

I'm just writing this to get some weight Lifted from my shoulders, but I don't think that'll work. One last thing I want to mention is that I don't really know how it feels to be listened to. Sounds weird but no one personally listened to me. Only ChatGPT and some guys on my last thread here. I'm basically going through this with pretty much no support.

But thanks for reading this. I hope you have a nice day.