How do I stop feeling sorry for myself?
I have been doing pretty well and my cptsd symptoms were manageable, until I got retraumatized.
It feels like all my hard work have been destroyed. I feel extremely helpless and demoralized. I cannot get out of the "why me" mindset and keep being sorry for myself.
I hate feeling this way.
I just want to do something to feel better. How do I stop feeling sorry for myself? How do i stop asking why did this happen to me?
I really need some advice right now because I'm so lost. I'm willing to out in th work to feel better but I don't know how to start and what to do. Everyday helplessness is taking over me more and more and I am terrified of going back to a terrible mental state.
@Vector5 Hey there :) Hope you're feeling a bit better now<3
All the work that you've done on yourself and all the time you've given yourself to heal cannot be taken away by anything. Even if it feels like you'll have to start again from day 1, all that you've learned will help you get through this again. It's like restarting a game, your experiences, the skills you've gained will all always be there to help guide you again.
When it gets harder to deal with the 'Why me', what I find helpful is to count all the things I'm grateful for. It gives a positive distraction <3 Remember it's alright to feel bad, angry and or sad but always treat yourself with gentleness and compassion. Always see how you managed to make it through, how you survived<3
We all fall back, we all get dropped back to the start again. Take some time, give your heart a little break <3 You'll be able to get back to the top again :)
@BlueDarkAurora
Thank you.
It has been really hard for me lately.
This retraumatization felt like a slap in the face and now I'm back having nightmares, not eating and crying all the time.
This incident could have happened to anyone else but it happened to me! This is incredibly unfair and painful.
I do have acquired some skills but it feels like my brain simply reverted back to my old traumatized self.
I am scared I've been broken too many times now to get up.
I don't have the energy.
It feels like this time was the final blow and now I am fully demoralized.
I lost hope in everything, even in therapy.
@Vector5 so sorry to hear that<3 Nightmares on top of the high emotions must all be so exhausting. I really hope you find some calm and peace soon.
Trauma is never fair, you have all the right to feel that way. Nothing that anyone says would take away the fact that it is unfair and it is painful. You don't have to think about getting back up instantly or having to do something about it right now. Take your time, allow yourself to cry without any judgements. It is hard, you're dealing with it and it'll be okay but right now it's not and that is okay<3
You were managing, you were doing pretty well and you can do it again, maybe not instantly but with slower smaller steps you will get there. You've done it before and that shows the strength you hold. Believe in that strength and I believe in you<3
@Vector5
I find a big way to change your habit/ behavior is ask yourself "what am I getting out of this?"
What has the "why me " helped you with ?
These are the things I have seen as i have not one but 2 "why me " in my family .........
For some it seems to give the excuse to not push forward or try things because it is predetermined you will fail ....... it is almost they put hurdles in every thing to make it harder to achieve and/ or sabotage good things in their life ...
at first the victim mentality got them sympathy and a helping hand but those always helping finally grew tired as the need for help only grew and continued all the "once this is done i will be good " but it never was.... now they are gotten older and time to change anything and make a difference is almost over...
Time is one of our greatest assets most do not see that until later in life .... ask yourself what are you waiting for to change.... you are the change.
@toughTiger6481
The thing is, this retraumatization took all my energy. It completely drained me.
I would LOVE TO stop th victim mentality but for now I just can't.
I've been hurt so many times, just to be hurt once more.
I'm very demoralized right now.
I know it's not helping me to feel sorry about myself but that's the only thing my brain is capable of doing now.
I don't have the energy to get up and do something.
@Vector5
i have been mapping my energy .... sounds crazy i know.
Some days when i feel energized and bring it on ... and some days i feel like curling up and sleeping....i wanted to find the source ... it was NOT sleep as when i am down i sleep a ton ..... coffee and energy drinks also not the answer had many experiments lol ... food / sugar type treats also not ..... so i tracked it ..
A friend texts and we catch up i felt energy.... i had someone really appreciate my efforts in something i felt energy .... i have a small list of really small to do items that seem to be ignored i finally did one that i procrastinated a long time on felt energy........learn new things look at kids who when they really get a new concept they have excitement and energy....
forcing myself out of comfort zone= energy .... do all things work out NOPE ... that is the false thing i think we tell ourselves is "oh others must have everything going perfect" .... the reality is NO they just keep moving and shake it off when Crap hits them.
