How do you get through the hard days when you have no one?
Today is another hard day. There is a lot going on in my life and around me in the lives of those I care about, all of which is negatively impacting my depression and other things I struggle with. It seems that without a constant, or near constant, stream of distractions, activities, or tasks, I get sucked back into the darkness in my mind. Its been this way for over 20 years now. Meds don't seem to work for me sadly but I keep trying. I'm in therapy too but my therapist is the only person I have that I can talk to about the darkness and hard days. I have essentially no family and my only friend is drowning in her own struggles. I don't know where else to turn so I came here. I don't usually use places like this for all they can offer but feeling so low and alone and wishing I had someone I could talk to right now seemed like a good reason to try here. I don't know what else to really say but I'm willing to share more if anyone has any questions. Thanks for reading/listening.
Welcome @daisyjane89!
I'm glad your here with us!
Feel free to talk with me or any other listeners. There is also chat rooms.
Being alone can become unbearable... Your not alone anymore 🌟
It is hard to support yourself. I hope therapy is providing you with some useful tools.
Venting is always good. For me writing was the key to clearing my head. I wrote lists for what I was responsible for doing and it was satisfying crossing off each finished task.
And then for my thoughts I just candidly wrote how I was feeling, what was bothering me, what steps I would take, what did I need?
I hope you'll find a way to make life easier for you :)
@daisyjane89
I truly hope you are doing better today. I have been in bed the last two days fighting anxiety. Tonight was first time I feel so relief. During the anxiety, I always feel it will never end, but the relief comes briefly to give me enough strength to handle the next attack.
@daisyjane89 It sounds like you've been carrying an incredibly heavy burden for a very long time. What stood out to me is that even after 20 years of struggling, trying different medications, and facing these dark days, you're still showing up for therapy and still reaching out when you need support. That takes a lot of strength, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.
I don't have a magic answer for getting through the hard days, but on my own difficult days I try to focus on making it through the next hour instead of solving everything at once. I'm really glad you decided to post here today instead of carrying all of this by yourself. You deserve support too, and I hope some of the replies here can remind you that you're not as alone as depression wants you to believe.
First I want to say thank you to all who replied to my post. I appreciate all your kind words and support. The past few days have been a bit rough still but mainly not quite as hard as when I posted the other night. I still seem to need a lot of distractions to not get stuck in the darkness but there have also been some brighter pockets where things feel better.
I think part of what is making this darkness so hard is that I had a really good week to week and a half recently where life felt good and worthwhile, like things were turning around. Then the darkness returned and it hurt a bit more to lose those good days again. It just felt so defeating and disappointing, like the good days are just not really meant for me to have. Plus not having anyone really in my circle of people that I can reach out to for anything beyond surface level conversation doesn't help. Its just so easy to spiral and get stuck in the darkness.
As someone said, I have tried it all it seems to make a difference in my experience and yet I keep trying. I guess there is still a small part of me that hopes there is something out there that will bring more lasting improvement. I think there has to be or its just to easy to drown in the darkness and be sucked into the void. I'm not sure how much there is out there left for me to still try but maybe one day it will be my turn to get a better life experience. I know I will likely have to help that along a bit but I have found a really good therapist now and I'm hoping that together we can at least get me closer to where I hope to one day be.
Anyways I'm starting to ramble so I will end this here. Thank you again to everyone who responded to me. It was really nice to hear your kind and supportive words.
