How do you handle abandonment and anxious attachment

@secretPenny2911

This must feel so overwhelming 🩷

I'm sorry you are going through this .Dont let them determine your worth!

@secretPenny2911 It depends on the situation.  If you ask more clearly, I can give a specific supportive response. 

Everytime someone threatens to leave me or abandon me I lose it. I try so desperately to keep them or get them back. I did that to all my exes. And when it comes to friendships, when I get close to someone and they threaten to leave me, I spiral.

I feel like my whole world is ending when someone do that and I get anxious even if someone I love take time to reply

I feel like my whole world is ending when someone do that and I get anxious even if someone I love take time to reply

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. In fact, you sound a lot like I felt not too long ago. Alone, scared to be alone; so scared of not having anyone, that you potentially would keep yourself in a negative place simply to not be alone. Scared of having what is familiar ripped away from you and being left with nothing. Know that you’re not alone, others endure this as well. I started out using 7cups. I would talk to people here in the forums, and in the chat rooms about my situation and experiences. I read a lot. Anymore, I feel like all the books I read are self-help books. I used workbooks and actively participated in therapy. I started seeing a psychiatrist and making medication adjustments where needed. I journal, I meditate and practice mindfulness. To get better, it takes hard work on yourself. It’s not easy, but it’s worth every second of effort you put into yourself. I hope this helps, and I promise that in time, with hard work, it can and will get better.

Oh my goodness yes, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this… Abandonment issues are probably my main problem. Mine are so huge. I have been left or abandoned by so many people I love throughout the course of my life, it is my biggest fear. It has been ingrained in my brain that no one stays, everyone leaves in the end.

My boyfriend threatens to leave me every single time we have a blowup, which normally happens when he becomes intoxicated and brings up something that triggers me and then my anger issues arise and it turns into a blowout with us and he threatens to leave. Regardless of the circumstance, regardless of whether he means it or not, which apparently he doesn’t because he’s still here… The words are still coming out the same, and they stay in my mind and they exacerbate my abandonment issues. It’s very difficult to deal with. I don’t have any advice for I struggle with it as well, just know that you are absolutely not alone in this.