I FEEL SUFFOCATED

I AM BEYOND UPSET! MY AC HAS NOT BEEN WORKING FOR MONTHS AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET IT REPLACED BUT MY EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE, UNORGANISED, EXTREME SLOW DAD TAKES HIS TIME WITH EVERY SINGLE THING AND EVEN HERE HE IS TAKING HIS TIME.

He's out of town. He's having some problems there with his house which is apparently getting snatched away by his toxic family members and he is drained in it! My sister lives abroad, we don't talk much and she broke her hand today and I don't know how she is doing. I live with my mom who has some mental health issues like schizophrenia and I HAVE HAD STUDY GAPS WHICH I'M TRYING TO COVER SO I CAN START UNIVERSITY AFTER TWO YEARS! BUT I FEEL SO DAMN HOT AND UNEASY TO STUDY PROPERLY! I DON'T KNOW IF MY STUDY METHOD IS EFFICIENT BECAUSE I TAKE A LOT OF TIME TO MAKE NOTES AND ONLY AFTER A STRUCTURE I CAN PRACTICE THE CONTENT OTHERWISE I FORGET EVERYTHING!!

I have to make thorough notes and that needs researching and even if they take time, they help me in the long run BUT I AM GETTING PANICKED WONDERING IF IT IS A TRAP? IF I AM CHASING PERFECTION TOO MUCH DUE TO MY OCD INSTEAD OF PRACTICING PAST PAPERS BUT THAT IS USELESS IF I DON'T REMEMBER THE CONTENT WHICH IS SOMETHING ONLY CLEAN NOTES HELP ME WITH! BUT I'M DAMN EXHAUSTED!! IN THIS BODY! IN THIS HEAT! ON THIS PHONE THAT I HAVE TO BE 24/7 FOR STUDIES THAT MAKE MY EYES HURT!!! I FEEL LETHARGIC AND I STILL FEEL LIKE I'M LAGGING BEHIND IN STUDIES EVEN THO I STUDY EVERYDAY BUT I'M CONSTANTLY DOUBTING MY STUDY METHOD!! I'M DEALING WITH THIS FEAR OF A-LEVELS AND I HAVE NO LIFE OTHER THAN STUDIES!

AND I JUST WANT SOME SANITY AND COMFORT THROUGH AC BUT I HAVE NO ONE TO EVEN CRY TO!

I'M SORRY FOR THIS ANNOYING CAPITALISED TEXT BUT I JUST WANT TO CONVEY THE PAIN AND ANGER I'M FEELING AND THIS IS NOT ENOUGH!! I DUNNO WHAT THE HECK I SHOULD DO