I cant be like them

My family have always been the type of people that have always overstepped boundaries. They've never understood how their actions words have impacted all of their children. This is generational, my great-grandparents weren't the best parents to their kids. This was my mom's side, my mom was raised in a household where she had multiple sisters and brothers just like my mom. My mom had more sisters than cheated , actual brothers and sadly , my grandmother raised her family to be just as toxic as hers

I've always had issues and problems with my family, and I've never understood where that came from. I never understood why my mom didn't like me at a young age. I was kind of just assumed that I was a bad kid, but I really wasn't the more that I look back on it. I was actually probably one of the most gifted children that they had as painful as that is to say, I was great in school. I never needed parent-teacher conferences. I never needed help with any homework or anything like that. And then when I was confused, I would ask for help, but then I would catch on very quickly and wouldn't really need it.

My parents raised me very well. They taught me the basics and everything that I had to do. They taught me everything that I know to this day, even if they aren't the best people my parents still did. Try and put in as much effort as they could. To give me a great life, and they did, I had everything fun holiday parties. Christmas was always memorable. We always did some type of family trip. S we always went to the river to go fishing and exploring. We always had something planned to look forward to. But It didn't change the fact that my family was incredibly toxic.

My family don't get along for the life of them to them. Having to be in the same room as their own sister's cousins in-laws is dreadful. It's dreadful because everyone's envious of each other or they're all incredibly rude like egos above the roots towards your own family

I never understood why everyone was like that. It got to a point where everyone stopped coming over and everyone stopped being around. I never understood it. I never understood where that stimulated from. And then, as I got older, I started to notice it more. No, this family had problems. So many problems enough were it was incredibly hard to ignore and also scary to even get close to anyone you're not sure who you can talk to, you're not sure who you can be around even saying hi, or just simply looking at someone's direction is scary.

There was a point in time where things got really, really bad in my family and me. And a few of the cousins that had common sense said we didn't need to be like that, we didn't need to be in a situation where we're falling into the patterns that they created, we can be better people, no one wanted to hear each other out. Instead, everyone just stopped speaking to each other none of us spoke to each other to this day. Still nobody talks everybody shuts everybody out and everyone keeps everyone else out.

I've always promised myself that if I decide that one day I'm going to have a family

i'm gonna do it on my own terms. When I'm ready to and it's not gonna be because I'm trying to prove that I can be better than them. It's gonna be because I want to out of love. I've learned a lot since moving away from home. Even though it still scares me and I still hear the tensions and drama from back home, I can't escape it.

My mom said the family is incredibly prejudiced.When I say prejudice , I mean , they believe the anyone who isn't like me and the rest of my cousins are gorgeous beyond belife i would always hear my mom consistently pick on me for the smallest thing , and I never understood what it was.

For context i'm apache native For context, I'm Apache, native\nI always had longer hair than the rest of my family.I always had a more rounded face.I always had more noticeable features native features

I look just like my great-grandmother.I hear everyone in my family.Say it all the time that I look just like her.I see photo for all the time.And she's gorgeousI look just like my great-grandmother.I hear everyone in my family.Say it all the time that I look just like her.I see photo for all the time.And she's gorgeous. I look just like my great-grandmother. I hear everyone in my family. Say it all the time that I look just like her. I see photos of her all the time and she's gorgeous stunning even as she got older you couldn't tell her age at all, Stunning , even as she got older , you couldn't tell her age at all

I was honored hearing that consistently as my great-grandmother. With someone that I could look up to, she spoke full of Apache, and was a medicine woman.She was so incredibly smart and still could do everything that she normally did , even when she eventually lost her vision , she was still able to cut through and make dinner and lunches for her family she took care of everyone more than she took care of herself

When I would hear my mom, comment on me or say the stupidest things ever about my appearance?I would be kind of offended.I never understood how a parent can put their own kid down.Especially when i'm bits and pieces of two people who wants evidently loved each other , put together

It Didn't tear me down if anything i resented myslef even more

i always knew that I was different in my family. I never really stood out or tried to make an effort to be like everyone else, I always followed my own path and I thought that was good enough, and I heard from everyone on my dad's side, the family that that was good enough, I was doing more. Than most of my cousins were, and most of my family, my grandparents would consistently say that I had a bright future ahead of me.

However, on my mother's side, it was never enough.My mom grew envious of me as I got older.She would make so many comments about everything that I did from clothes out.I would buy to me going out and living my life and doing things it got tHowever, on my mother's side, it was never enough. My mom grew envious of me as I got older. She would make so many comments about everything that I did from clothes out. I would buy to me going out and living my life and doing things it got so bad i eventually started. Speaking less and less, I stopped doing things I isolated myself. I wanna do an isolation period for almost 3 years.

During that time, I didn't speak to anybody. I played games online with my friends. I barely went out and then whenever I did go out. I was sneaking out of my window late at night and I was meeting up with people that I used to be close with. We would go skating and hang out in the city. Go to grocery stores late at night. Get chips and snacks and just skate and talk i saw the same 4 people that entire time to this day, we are still incredibly close.I think about them consistently.We talk on a regular basis.Those are the only people to save me from what it is.One of my friends is mom's.Try to get custody of me too.She really did try her hardest to get legal guardianship of me.Because my mom wouldn't take me to a doctor my mom wouldn't even try and help me get a license.She wouldn't try and help me do anything.This friend's mom put everything into me.Even congratulated me at my own graduation , which my parents did not attend

I think about my friends a lot because I'm lucky to have them. They consistently remind me that there is good in this world. And that I am worth something. Whether or not people see that worth or effort that I put in, it didn't really matter to me, because I knew that I had a spot and that people out there did care oddly enough, that is also how I found 7 cups.

My friend Is on 7 cups I'm not sure what his username is yet, and I'm not going to overstep his boundaries and try and find him, but if he stumbles upon this, thank you and your family for everything that you do for me. You guys have been the biggest inspiration for me in my life.

I'll listen to him. Talk about how this app was helpful for him and how he made so many friends on here and how he was able to connect and talk about things that he wasn't able to share or wasn't ready to share, but this gave him the space and comfortability to do it, I feel like ever since I joined this app, I've noticed the amazing amount of people that are here that are consistently saying that they care They show it every single day, by the helpful advice, the amazing messages and encouragement. This is really a place that looks out for everyone. Mental health is so incredibly important. I'm happy that people are starting to take care of their mental health incredibly well, every little step is a huge part of the journey. I'm so proud of everyone who's taking those steps to better themselves and strive for more.

We are not what we think we are.The voices in our head are wrong And you don't have to be what everyone else wants you to be. You are enough just as you are.Follow your own path and continue to do you every day is a new day to restart and be better every day is a step to be better.Your hard work and effort isn't unseen It's not unnoticed you matter so so much more than you think you do this app, help me realize that things are gonna get better and they can get better.It's just step by step tomorrow is really a new day