I can't go on with this anymore
I feel like I've reached a point of no return in my life. I can't stand this depression any longer. I feel empty, without hope or purpose. I feel totally exhausted. I hate myself, as if I have an enemy following me all the time. I can't talk to anyone I know. I have to put up with all the *** I feel, all the *** that happens to me. I have to give it all back with a fake smile, and I'm tired of it. I'm writing this because I don't see a way out. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm about to do something I might regret, and I hate myself even more for it. I don't know what to do from here.
@ppzang
I hope you find strength to see something positive. long term depression is hard and defeating.
it feels like depression fights you when you try to get out of it. After several bouts like this I can say in my case I KNOW we can not wait it out... expect life/ jobs / new friends to come knocking on our door.... wake up to all things changed it is ourselves that make the change .... even tiny things to fight out of the fog of depression....
At first it Sucks we do not want to get out of the fog of depression. It is pushing ourselves to do it. if we dislike things looking all the same I force myself to make changes ... I have moved furniture to make room look new changed paint color ... I usually pull out list of things I wanted to do at one time and do one or two... drive home a different way to see new things.... ALL is forcing myself but sooner or later it is not forced and I have fought my way out of depression.