I can't keep living like this
So here's a little background on what's happening:
I played for a varsity soccer team for 6 months and when it ended it left me feeling empty, alone, and sad. ( And I still feel this way ) At one of our games we had a senior night which is basically just a night to honor the seniors of the team. That left me feeling really sad after that game was over, knowing that they weren't going to be there the next season since they would be graduating.
Now my current situation:
Today my cousin had a senior recital at her college and during the intermission she made a speech which reminded me of the night of my soccer senior night. It felt the exact same way as it did that night (and somehow 10 times worse). It honestly felt like that when she graduated I would never see her again. (Even though that's not true) This made my pain I had been feeling 50 times worse than it had been. And now honestly I don't know what to do. I have tried so many times to get out of this and put all of this behind me and move on. But it feels like nothing works. I just can't keep living like this.
I'm sorry you're still hurting, but grief is like that. It doesn't have a straight line to the finish. It's completely natural to be upset about big changes, and people moving on. It's sadly a part of life, and it's natural to miss people.
It might help to shift your perspective a little, however. Instead of focusing on the negative like, "I'll never see these people again," you might see that it's also a chance for people you care about to grow and experience new things in life.
Also, is it true you'll never see them again? People frequently visit home, if only for holidays.
Don't focus on "putting it behind you." Let yourself feel what you feel.
@AlliopeCalliope
My cousin I will still see. The Seniors on my team I might not see again. I also still see some of them sometimes but not very often.
@IzzyGamer When one door closes another door opens. Ya just gotta keep knockin. I'm middle aged and ya come to find that some of these cliche statements are true. Just gotta be patient and also know that you gotta take some action yourself. Volunteering is a great way to meet like minds, not have to overshare(typically too busy to talk much), contribute to the greater good, growing your sense of belonging/community, feeling less alone, and ya also get that serotonin boost from doing a good deed instead of the fleeting feel goods of doing something easy and pleasurable. I bet somebody somewhere is looking for a volunteer coach/assistant for a youth soccer league. May you find what you believe you are missing.
