I feel like doing nothing
to give some context im 18 female im a uni student and feel like doing absolutely nothing and its affecting my life badly every single aspect of it like im getting bad grades because I can't open a book and study its effecting my relationship with my family im feel useless i live with my parents (its a cultural thing) I feel like they want to disown me or already have but there relationship is important to me very important my the olny way I can support my self is by working but that is hard because my grades are *** cus I can't study without feeling overwhelmed and im not pretty enough to get married most guys that show any interest in me are doing it for jokes or they lose interest cus people are making fun of them cus they like me I want to be something great but I can't im failing every aspect of my life i though adout killing my self multiple of times but I don't want to do it cus I care to much idk if my parents love me or despise my existence I even can't get help cus its not common and its frowned upon were I live i feel stupid and stuck im always day dreaming because my life is so miserable
@mayosv5
I am so incredibly sorry that you are carrying such a heavy burden at only 18, feeling stuck in a cycle of overwhelming sadness and pressure that makes it hard to see the brilliant, capable person you are.
Please hear me when I say that everything you are feeling—the hopelessness, the inability to study, the desire to escape—is valid, and it does not make you useless, lazy, or stupid; it means you are dealing with profound, exhausting emotional pain that is trying to drown you.
Your value as a human being is absolutely not defined by your grades, your beauty, or whether you can meet the harsh, unrealistic standards society or your peers put on you. The fact that you have survived this long despite having thoughts of suicide shows immense strength, even if you feel broken, and I want you to know that the world is better because you are in it, and you deserve to feel peace and joy.
That dark, overwhelming feeling is not your fault, and it can get better, even if your brain is currently lying to you telling you it won't. I know reaching out is incredibly hard and frowned upon where you are, but you do not have to carry this alone.
Please try to connect with a trusted teacher, a school counselor, a sympathetic relative, or even an anonymous helpline online, because just sharing this weight with someone can be a crucial first step toward finding a way out of this trap. You do not need to be "great" or successful right now; you just need to be kind to yourself, one breath, one minute, one day at a time, and I am holding space for you to find the hope you deserve.
Love and Courage,
Calm Rosebud 🕊️🌹