I feel like i cant breathe
I dont know how to describe it. I go to a really good school, and I make straight A’s but that is not the problem. Everything is too overwhelming for me. I take all advanced classes. Its really stressful for me and I often find myself having a mental breakdown over work every day and just life in general. I ask myself questions like “why does life have to be like this” or “why do i feel like i am falling down this endless pit” Like i said, I dont know how to describe it. Every week I have tests and piles of assignments and its all way too overwhelming and stressful and I’m afraid that I’ll keep spiraling downward until something bad happens and I dont want that. It also doesnt help at all that I dont go to school with my best friend anymore. She goes to a regular school. I want to transfer to school with her, that way maybe everything will be easier. I just feel like I cant breath anyore. I am always studying or doing work (school literally takes up 90% of my life right now) and if its not that then its the family problems I have at home. I think that also has a big impact on how I feel now too, because with my family situation, there is nothing I can do to help. Nothing. I just have to watch my family suffer and I cant do anything. I feel like Im going crazy. I dont feel like myself anymore. I just want everything to be easy. I dont want to be like this, I want things to get better because I dont know how much more of this I can take. Anyways If you read this far thank you so much for taking some time out of your day to listen to my feelings. I just really needed to get them out and Im not good at expressing them so I felt I should write them instead. If anyone has any tips or anything all to help me stop feeling like this I would appreciate it with all my heart.
firstly, I'm so proud of you for speaking up. being someone who is not used to expressing, doing this must have been difficult. but I hope it made you feel a bit relieved to get it all out.
let's start with not asking questions which don't really have answers. and even if they do, they don't serve you any purpose. i know it's inevitable, but what if you can turn them into something that might actually help? "what in my life is making me feel this way"
"when do I feel like I'm falling down an endless pit"
identifying your triggers and problems are the start of dealing with your emotions. you'll know what to avoid, what to expect and eventually find a coping mechanism.
i don't know if you are currently in a place where you can change your circumstances or not, and if not you must be feeling very helpless. but remember, what you can change is your approach to these things.
you get to decide how seriously you take all this academic pressure and let it define you. in the end, even if you are not a A grade student who studies all the time you will still be worthy or love and appreciation. and that is a FACT.
I've been in a place where circumstances were a rollercoaster, but I think there is nothing more important in the world that you yourself. take enough breaks. make time for yourself. doens't matter if it's a few days or few minutes each day. just try starting? i know it's clique, but take a walk, make a cup of warm tea (or coffee) for yourself, take some time for self care, write 5 sentences about how you are feeling, give yourself a small gift, eat good food, meet people you love. do one thing for yourself each day.
i understand you also need to be realistic about your academic goals. if you can't take a break/ change schools at the moment, prioritise your work and divide them into small parts. take only small chunks at a time, it'll help you not feel overwhelmed. also try to romanticize your study sessions and make it into something enjoyable. maybe change places and start blogging for yourself, go to a cafe/park of you can or if that's not possible just a library, new place in your house.
ofc this is not something which will completely make everything go away, but i think it'll definitely help.
when you feel like you can't breathe, take active control of your breathing. close your eyes and count your breathes, use grounding methods like holding ice or eating something sour and tell yourself "nothing matters but me"
family can be tough. truth is, if any change is to come it'll happen naturally. but it's not your responsibility for their individual well being, especially if they are adults. atleast not now. best thing you can do for your family is make yourself okay. make sure your cup is full, before filling anyone else's.
dont be afraid to reach out for help if required.
i sincerely hope you'll be okay.
thank you so much for replying to me. I read throught everything you wrote me and i found your words extremely and touching and helpful. This is my first time on this kind of app and I‘m glad I get to encounter people like you who genuinely care. My mother signed me up for a mental health therapist in my school so maybe that will help too. Again, thank you so much, and I hope you have a wonderful day.:D
@anikaizz
Hey, if the school you're at is way too overwhelming, then you could try going to a K12 school. It is completely free; the only thing is that it's an online school. But that does mean you get so much more home time! K12 is a go-at-your-pace school.
Thank you so much for your suggestion. Yes, I have been thinking about that. I think a go-at-your-pace school would be really beneficial and it might help my mental health. The only thing Im concerned about is that my social skills will decrease. I dont know if that makes sense. Im already an extremely socially awkward person and i am nervous that if I am at home all the time then that will get worse.
