I just want a hug.

Growing up, I never had any real friends because I was seens as the weird kid for being a mixed race kid. Parents would often hurry their kids off away from me. Now that im a young adult, I still face the same thing. I only wish for someone to atleast tell me that they are proud of me. My parents never did. I dont want to watch porn or study for the whole day to keep my mind from going totally blank. Im a person too. I have these feelings inside me but I cant express them in words. Maybe I want to stay alone, maybe I want to jump off a ledge, maybe I want to hear someone atleast call out my name not to shout at me but to say they love me. I am sure they have lovely things to say about me, but im also sure that they will say them when im gone. I just want someone to love and be loved by. I just want to be less lonely. I just want a hug.