I know but idk, ykw I mean?

I wouldn't call myself depressed. I'm just lost, yk? I believe it's because of my own awareness. This probably sounds cringe af but I don't live life as me. I keep changing myself based on the person I'm talking to. And you may say that that is sooo normal. It is. But I keep looking into others, how they act, how they feel. I know exactly how to get certain reactions out of people, and that's probably normal too so idek why I'm feeling these things. I don't feel like I'm me most of the time. AND NOW I PROMISE I'M NOT SELF GLAZING but I love that I can understand why people do things, therefore, I normally don't judge anyone at all. Although the thing is I feel like that's the thing that isn't making me happy. No one attempts to do the same for me, and I acknowledge that. Society is like that, and I don't blame anyone. However, I feel like I'm just idk stuck in a rabbit hole. Jst doing shi that doesn't even matter which idk why tf it relates to what I was saying but idek. I wish I could know what my actual fckn problem is so that I could actually change and forgive my past self.

just venting, HOPE YALL HAVE A NICE DAYY!!!