I'm feeling............

At the beginning, I want to express my love and gratitude for this wonderful community, the amazing world of 7 Cups. Since I started here (not long ago), I have truly been astonished by everything. I was amazed when I saw all this support—everyone here supports each other so much that I even doubted whether people were pretending and showing personalities that weren’t real. Honestly, I feel lucky to be part of this community.
Sorry if I went on too long in this part.

Do you know what the hardest feeling is? It’s the feeling of being different, but not in a special or unique way—rather, in a way that feels like a flaw, something that makes you less normal than others. I’ve always been different. I’ve always wished I could just feel like a normal human being like everyone else. You might ask now: What illnesses do you suffer from that make you feel this way? But the truth is, I don’t even know. I don’t know if I have a mental illness or not. All I know is that I don’t feel okay. I feel like I’m carrying a heavy weight on my chest, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how to express it or describe it. Writing something like this post is the hardest thing for me. And I know most of you may not understand what I’m saying. Even venting, which is supposed to bring relief when a person speaks out, I don’t even know how to do that. I’m such a complicated person.