I’m not really sure on what to put here

Sometimes I just hate life and ik I have so many people there who love me to pieces but there’s some that don’t know. I miss waking up when I was 6 in the summer and going to my grandparents house to drink milk with red food dye so it was pink in my princess cup. I’d eat the same lunch yellow rice, Pickles, pepperonis, cucumbers, and sweet tea. Then I’d go and pick my swim suit for the day and then go swimming with the neighbors because they babysat a bunch of kids. Every single day I’d go swim. Then I’d get back change and go play outside until it was time for dinner. I would love to eat ham and bean soup or some type of steak where I’d use a straw to slurp up the juice. Then I’d beg for a sleepover and if I did I would get a small bowl of ice cream in my ice cream bowl and run to pick out a nightgown that was already there. Then I’d go to the sun room and watch peppa pig and drink “pap pop”. I miss doing my vocabulary words then going to gymnastics on Wednesdays. I miss playing Halloween town or Christmas village in the blowups. I miss going up on the roof to see a cool bird or running to the window for a bunny or squirrel. I miss not caring about wearing a big sister shirt. I miss my siblings liking me. I just down wanna grow up. I moved away from my grandparents right after they lived closer to us. I didn’t even wanna move I just wanted my mom to be happy but she cries more here so what’s the point? And I love my life here I love all of my friends they’re amazing I just wanna go back.