I'm not sure....
I've always had a smile on my face and even when things got bad I'd wake up and just smile as always. I try to keep my mood right so not to worry anyone but at the same time I wish they knew the confusion, exhaustion and pain I carry.
Sometimes I imagine how telling them would go but each reaction, every word is something I don't want to hear not cause I don't believe it's truly genuine. I know they mean it. But it's not what I need.
The comfort, the hugs, the positive reassurance, the "you'll be okay" or "it's only gonna hurt for a while". Such things are starting to make less sense to me. I've heard them so many times it's starting to pass right through me. But I'll still go through everyday with the little positivity I have left that maybe one day all this will work out.
@BlueLexie I'm sorry to hear you're silently hurting and feel like you have to smile even when things don't go right.
You should be able to be honest with yourself and others about how you really feel. The cliché "it's ok not to be ok." really is so true!
You said you don't want to hear those words of consolement because it's not what you need. Ask yourself then: What is it really do you need?
How can you get that support or whatever you need if others aren't able to be let in and if you don't share how you're feeling?
Somethings we can't always keep bottled in silently hurting. Whatever it is, I truly hope things get better for you. Please keep that bit of positivity left within you. Please don't give up hope. Hang strong and take care. ♡☆
@BlueLexie
I understand. Hope is a difficult thing to have when you're depressed. I know people mean well but none of it helps really. We need people like ourselves to be really understood. It's okay. It's difficult for people to understand the depth of something they haven't had first-hand experience of. If hope doesn't keep you going, try curiosity. Sometimes wanting to find out what happens next (be it about your life or a book or a show or anything) can help. I can't promise you that it will change your life. But it will keep you upright. And sometimes that is just enough.
I've never thought of using curiosity to keep me going, I'll try it. Thank you it really helped.
@BlueLexie
Good luck! :)
@BlueLexie invalidating comments are the last things anyone needs when they're going through something 😞
I hope things get easier from here 💙
