I’m out of words.

At this point, I don’t know if I should continue college and living in my country. Sure, I do have friends, but I always feel alone. Also, I don’t want to bother them. I can’t help but feel like I’m only a fly to these friends, and a burden. That’s kinda why I don’t text them much. Some noticed, but none of them truly care. They don’t spam me, and I’d love that. It would make me feel like I actually matter. I don’t matter. I’m just a disposable group of cells, who people reject. People reject me as a friend. Also, there is absolutely no chance of having a wife and kids…now I do understand that you can’t be friends with everyone, but when the result is always rejection, I’m convinced that something is up. I just don’t know what is up. I would text my friends, but I would be bothering them and wasting their precious time doing so. Nobody truly understands me. I’ve only been talking to girls because I feel more feminine and I don’t click with males, due to this. I’m struggling with college, with family, with employment, and with friendships and my romantic relationship. I would totally go for therapy but it’s too expensive and my free therapy ended. I just want to forget all my troubles…