I need an advice or something pls
Hi everyone
Hru
So basically I joined this app today hoping that someone can help me a little bit because I really got no one to listen to me
I am getting attached to any guy online really quickly
I feel like I am relying on people a lot to make me feel loved
I didn't see my mom in 6 years and I still don't understand why did she cheat on my father and try to manipulate my younger brother by saying I love you more than I love your sister so he accepts seeing her which he didn't
I am seeibg my father for 1 minute a day he is busy all morning and not available all night
My finals are soon and if they didn't get cancelled because of the war in Lebanon I will have a lot of studying stress because I have a lot and my father is expexting me and I am expecting myself to have a high rank
I broke up with my 2 years online boyfriend because I felt like I am more attracted to other people and I don't want to cheat. I felt he isn't my type anymore and then I started talking with an old online friend of mine and I as usual got attached to him in a day and was so intrested but during that time I was having troubles sleeping (I wake up too early but I can't sleep all night) and a big lack of productivity and apetite. He was busy as well so he didn't text as much as I did. He had a hard midterm in physics so I used to open a call with him and he shares his screen and I helped him to understand it because I like physics. He also listened to me when he was free. And 2 days ago he said that he is attracted to me but he cannot be with me bcz he is always very busy which I said I don't mind but then we had a bigger problem which was dating being haram because he is a muslim so basically my heart got crashed because I had interest in this guy since I met him 2 yrs ago bfr we stop talking and I find a bf so when we started having more personal convos and we started learning spanish together and I wanted to rethink my beliefs because I am an agnostic atheist since I was 15 and thought maybe I can come back to Islam and all that flirting gave me hope that I found someone I am genuinly attracted to physically and emotionally. So because we cannot get my father's permission and because we obv won't get engaged with all that distance and we are too young for this he decided that we should stop texting. Now I have no company also my ex we were still friends after the break up but he said he doesn't wanna get attached to me and my only 2 friends irl are busy and won't help much. I don't know how can I stop this attachement issue. I am still checking every second if he texted me so we can at least just be friends because I literally feel so isolated. I am not doing anything all day and I am not sleeping or eating well. The stuff I used to enjoy are boring now and I randomly start crying.
These are all the problems I've been thinking of lately and I don't know if I am just immature or too childish to stop asking random people for affection
@HonestlyLamita
Apologize that my comment is not from heart such as yours and from depth.
I truly dont know, hope that someone will answer you. It is not childish issue... it is deep and important issue and everyone has it to some degree. Someone more, someone less... I think, that maybe you should first learn to love yourself, be confident and comfortable in your own skin, loving yourself... and then you r ready for relationships, for healthy relationships. Everyone wants to be loved, everyone needs love. U know?
For me personally, it was God who filled that hole.
Thank you for coming here and sharing your heart.
@HonestlyLamita
You are asking important questions. It sounds that you were able to look at your situation from a side. It seems that you noticed things that get you concerned a little. Confronting a concern instead of avoiding thinking about it or preventing everything is ok is opposite to childish.
I think you have pretty good idea of the reasons behind your attachment hunger. You already did really big chunk of work coming up with the thoughts behind your message. It does sound like you understand why are you feeling this bad now too. It’s not a small thing cause it means you don’t blame yourself for it. That gives you a better setup to use your critical thinking skills.
It won’t be easy but I think you are ready to stand up for yourself. What can you do to build your safety/connection net? Not a single person for filling everything but rather steady sources of connection with well defined boundaries to start with? Maybe something that you decide to do to help yourself even though you don’t feel like it like gym classes?
There is a post that I saw here recently that might give you some ideas: https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/YouArentBrokenYouHaveaCareDeficitIntroducingtheCareCalculator_384433/
What do you think?