Is this depression?
(Sorry for writing that long, I'm New here and I needed somewhere to write.)
I've been dealing with some kind of empty feeling for a while. Nearly more than a year. For 4 years, if I wouldn't count up and down cycles that changes in every few months. I always had at least one thing to do for hours in a day. Daydreaming, reading/translating fanfics, reading books, *** servers... I used to spent minimum 7 hours to do these. And for this 2 months, I literally can't find energy to anything. Sometimes my online friends call me to play a game or chat. And after 1-2 hours of doing this I suddenly start to feel drained and get frustrated out of nowhere...
I go to work, but I always stand by a wall or sit. After I go home I immadiately lay and sleep or scroll on *** and stay awake all night. I find myself forgetting taking a shower or cleaning the mess on my room. I literally slept with ants all over my room untill my mom turning back to home and pouring coffee everywhere to make ants go away. And I forgot to clean the coffee this time...
I think about past All the time, since I can't find hope in future anymore. But I can't feel like my past is real. I constantly try to find a reason behind my feelings. And I can't. My past wasn't traumatic, or maybe it was. I'm not sure. Maybe my sister passing away was traumatic? But I really don't felt anything.
I can't feel anything. I wanna cry, write journals, talk with people, get comfort, hurt myself but I physically can't.
I don't know how to label this... Is this depression?
@Umozon
from what ive read yes im very sure you've got depression wou,d oyu like to talk to me or to aa listener both options are good but i might be half your age
@Bazzust0
nvm your 19 close tho
I don't really feel comfortable talkin 1/1... Thanks for your reply tho. Even Knowing someone read this helped me to relax a bit.
@Umozon all g maybe try a listener they're more privatte and helpful
@Umozon I used to be in your place and had thoughts of offing myself, I'm not really sure how I got out of it so I can't really tell you when does it get better, it depends on the person experiencing it.
As an introvert, I still experience the drain of hanging with friends, are you an introvert? Resting really helps, try not to beat yourself up for not being able to do other things. If you haven't showered but was planning and instead slept, try doing it after you wake up. Try making it your goal to do one thing that can help you atleast feel refreshed or satisfied. Take it one step at a time.
As for doing creative stuffs, keep doing them! Do not hold yourself back in writing or making art, looking back now, it was one of the things that helped me get out of that situation. There's something in art that is transformative whether you're in a dark place or not. And journaling as well! It was a missed opportunity for me to not have a journal during my depression, I still remember how scary and how liminal and monochromatic everything is but there are things that I have forgotten already and that includes how it ended and things start getting better or even how it started. You do you, but this is just my 3 cents, if you want an advice~
I hope you are doing okay now too. It is good to now there are people who strong enough to beat it. I'm really proud of you
Yes, I'm an İntrovert but I live with near 0 human interraction and it is too much, even for me.
Thanks for your advice. I'm not really an art person tho. I'm not good at writing too. It kinda stresses me so it is better to not do it I believe. But I'll try journaling. Again, thanks for your advice <3
Sounds like it. Take the PHQ-9 self assessment
Thanks for the advice. I took it and the result was 'severe'. But since I don't have accses to go to a professional I think I will learn to roll with it...
Never apologize for sharing anything here. That is what we are here for.
It does sound like you are going through a really rough time and could use some help. You don't deserve to feel as you are feeling. Do you have any professionals like a doctor that you are able to talk to? They can point you in the direction of better resources.
In the meantime, getting outside to breathe and exercise can begin to start to change things around, even if it is just 15 minutes a day. @Umozon
Sadly, I don't have enough money to go to a professional and my family are not really quite like the idea of "me not being normal" at least that's how they look at therapy, I tried to find online support but it is not really helpfull.
I'll try to do your advice tho. Thanks a lot <3
@Umozon What about free therapy? The UK has free mental health places or if you're somewhere else then maybe check up in your community and see if there are places that do do free counselling or group therapy?
If not, 7 Cups does have listeners that will listen to how you feel and give practical advise.
However, I wish you the best in life, I know how it feels especially if you've been struggling with this since you were a teen (I still am a teen lol)
But feel free to ask whatever is on your mind, we're here for you. xx
I live in Turkey and people here look therapy as a ridiculous thing at best. And texting in English isn't really efective tbh LoL
Thanks for the support <3
I can totally understand. In some countries it is really hard. Feel free to come here any time and post about your day. Sometimes even a place to vent just a little takes some of the edge off of the depression. Hopefully getting outside can begin to heal you a little as well. @Umozon
How have things been going? @Umozon
Still same 😅
I am sorry to hear. Did you want to tell us more? Venting can really help. @Umozon