I think I should ...

There’s this friend I’ve had for a long time — the one I told you about, the one I had an argument with. Recently, she hasn’t been coming to school, and when I had the chance to talk with others about her, I ended up sharing what I actually felt about her and about our friendship. I told them that even though she’s caring in some ways, her actions don’t always match that. She acts very dominant — always trying to be the cool, smart, and pretty one. It feels like she wants everyone to see her as the best and the rest of us as just side characters in her story.

She makes us do things for her, but she rarely does the same for us. One time, she stepped on my wounded leg, and all I got was a simple “sorry.” But if I accidentally touched her, even lightly, she would scream and hit me. Things like that kept happening. She often leaves people out — me included — like when we went on a tour, she and her best friend spent all their time taking pictures together while I just sat there, feeling invisible.

I also said that she doesn’t really respect my boundaries. When I try to take space to cool down after being hurt or angry, she won’t let me. She clings to me, trying to comfort me, but it feels like she’s doing it her way, not mine. I need peace and space, not constant attention.

And another thing — she once told everyone, even in front of teachers, that I drink alcohol. I had told her that in confidence, as something personal and cultural. In my Limbu community, traditional alcohol is part of our customs. But she exposed it and made it sound wrong. When I mentioned that she also drinks, she denied it completely and said, “I’m Chhetri, I don’t drink alcohol like you people who eat pork.” That really hurt. It wasn’t just about what she said — it was the way she said it, like she was above me. I still defended her in front of others, trying to make the moment less awkward. Later, I told myself maybe karma would handle it, and strangely, her nail broke during chores. I didn’t mean harm, but it felt like a reminder that what we give, we get back.

Another thing — when we were returning from the tour, her phone kept buzzing nonstop. I thought it might be important, maybe her parents. It turned out it was her best friend’s parents calling. Her best friend has muscle weakness and was asleep, tired and hurt. So, I picked up the phone a few times to help. When we arrived, I woke her up and explained, but she got furious — yelling at me, saying, “What the *** is wrong with you? Why did you touch my phone?” I told her calmly that I didn’t mean to invade her privacy, I just didn’t want her friend’s parents to worry. After I explained, she calmed down a bit.

All these things made me realize I can’t keep being so close to her. I haven’t completely ended the friendship — I’ve just started to keep some distance. It’s not out of hate. I just don’t want to get hurt anymore. I think she might feel hurt too, and I don’t think she’s entirely selfish. But she does have a way of acting fake sometimes — showing off, pretending to be the best, and not respecting others’ feelings enough.

Even so, I can’t say she’s all bad. Maybe she acts this way because of her own insecurities. Maybe she doesn’t realize how her words and actions affect people. I still talk nicely to her when I can, but I’ve learned to protect my own peace first. I’m not cutting her off — I’m just keeping the distance I need to stay oka