It's been a while, I'm back . . .

Well. Note to self, I shouldn't ever stop posting in here, even when I think things are all good.

Everything has fallen apart again.

I've spent the last few days in bed, crying. Prettyuch nonstop. I'm so exhausted yet, I can't sleep.

In short, I'm depressed, anxious, can't get any help from the state. I feel at such a loss. I have no income, just when it all came together, it fell apart.

Blah blah blah God makes space blah blah blah. That was 3 months ago. I'm hungry, I can't pay my bills and it's putting way too much pressure ony BF to take care of me.

I feel utterly worthless, useless, and like a complete failure. I've tried starting my own businesses again, but because of everything I feel like I have zero capacity to do it. Like I can't even get out of bed most days.

And this week was exceptionally hard. I've never hit so many brick walls just to get a *** ID so I can start getting some type of *** help. I was told just make a loaf of churches and call them and ask if they can help with food and rent. Like really?? Didn't all my tax dollars I've spent inu lifetime mean I was supposed to get help from the *** government and state? But nah. I don't qualify with no income and no savings.

I'm so lost. I'm so tired. But I can't sleep until I just pass out from sheer exhaustion.