It’s painful. It’s difficult.
I am a young adult woman, but I feel like I don’t have willpower. I don’t think I have what is needed to live, to do things… I feel that I lack motivation because everything I have done for success has failed, everything I look forward to either dissatisfies me or disappoints me. In the beginning of the year I lost my friends, I realized they do not care about me the same way I did care about them. Lately bad news have been filling my life and I dig for the good ones, to see the bright side… and I do thank everything, but I can’t lie and say that it makes me happy. I am always thankful for my life, the things I have and all, that adds more guilt into my heart whenever I feel bad. But it has become harder to think and smile and eat.
I hope writing this takes a bit of weight off my chest and gives space to the peace I have been craving for.
I understand how you feel, I've been there too and I kind of am a little now, that feeling of lack of energy and determination to do things and live life, it makes everything seem hard and that what we do have or feel is not enough to make it, but I believe that slowly, by going through the right path we'll feel it a bit less with time and we'll realize that it doesn't take much to live, because what it really matters is to be happy and nothing else. Or at least that's what I want to believe, and what I hope, but yeah, you can do it, you are strong and capable of anything no matter how you feel, just put yourself first and don't look back.
Thank you for this… I will try my best looking at things that bring the joy I lack.
Of course <3 I'm sure that when the time is right a new version of you will appear and shine
@RosequartzGhost
I get what you're going through, it's a lot to handle but you not being able to put your foot down isn't because you're not strong-willed it's because you're too tired rn to do so, you just need to relax and take it easy on yourself
It’s hard to have faith in the future sometimes when we look back on the past and see the things that have failed. I’ve been there and I know how it can put a dump on your motivation. It sounds like you are getting hit from a lot of angles and struggling to find the bright side in things. What I do see from your post is that there’s a huge part of you that is trying to find that light, even when it feels elusive, and that takes incredible strength. I hope you can take a moment and see how powerful that is. I hear that maybe sometimes it’s hard to have hope when these things are weighing on you so hard. Finding the gratitudes in your life like you’re doing is great, and I know how it can make you feel you feel guilty for not feeling great. Regardless of what you have in your life, you’re allowed to have those yucky feelings too, guilt free. When it gets hard for me to think and smile and eat, finding the energy to do the opposite can provide some relief. By going for a walk, ordering from a restaurant you haven’t eaten at in so long, taking some self care to binge on a favorite show if that’s what you need. We are here for you.