Just want to end it …

I wish I didn’t need you. I wish I could keep it all in and be okay. I wish I listened to the truth in my head that tells me you don’t want to hear what I’m going through… yet, here I am again confiding in someone who has not comfort to offer. Your silence is worse than my own thoughts — I rather loathe myself than be confirmed that I'm actually alone by your stoned wall. I wish I could be the friend to myself that I am to others, I would never let my friend, spouse, child, parent suffer alone. I would bare that burden knowing that my compassion and listening ear and input may make all the difference. I HATE not having anyone, that out of desperation I open up my heart time and time again to someone who had NOTHING to offer me. To sit in silence while I suffer is like watching me die. You don't love me. Yeah, they never love you until your gone, for real.