Just want to rant
So, I lost my mum few months ago, and I’ve been trying to do my best everyday, but every morning there’s a regret of being awake, being alive. She was my best friend, we spoke about everything, she wanted me to help her with her chores but I always either delayed or totally forgot about them and she’d be real mad at me for it, but now that my dad and I live alone, I do everything she did and all I can think is why didn’t I do all this while she was here, why didn’t I make her life easy? Do you guys think she was disappointed in me before she left? The guilt of not serving her the best I could is eating me up. I just want to go to her, I want my ma back, I don’t want to be here anymore.
every time I eat my lunch alone, I just miss her so much, and sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, the sudden feeling of being woke and realizing she’s really gone is the worst feeling ever, and there are days where I suddenly get flashbacks of the hospital and I can feel from my feet to my head that I’m losing it.
why should I be here when she’s no longer here? What’s the purpose of all this? Why didn’t I give my ma a better life, why didn’t I be the best I could be for her? I hate myself, I hate myself so much, I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is a person who deserves to be ukw.
@suh1099 I’m so sorry for your loss. I doubt that your mom would want you to hold on to this guilt you’re feeling.
Yeah, she wouldn’t, she loved me so much, even though I did nothing nothing for her, she would always brag about me to her siblings and relatives. She was so proud of me for nothing. i just miss her so much, it’s like I’m in a void, and I’m waiting for it to get over, like one day it’ll all be over, that’s what I’ve been telling myself everyday. I can’t help but wait to d*e. I just wish I could do more for my ma. She deserved the world you know.
My mom passed away on January, and I feel the same.
@Alexbg17 I’m so sorry you’re going through it too. I wish it could’ve been easier on us.
