Lost or stupid?
Male 22
Single
I have never been in a proper relationship and I feel so lonely sometimes that I feel the urge to get into a relationship.
I am preparing for an exam which is my first priority but this loneliness and boredom keeps me distracted.
Whenever I go out alone or with friends or with family I see couples all the time, booking oyo, making out in concerts , flirting, exploring the city and here I am alone AF
I don't know if this is the correct community to even post but here I am
I don't know am I distracted or going in wrong direction or what??
I can totally get how frustrating it can be trying to find a relationship. It is simply not an easy process and can have little to do with you.
But there is always a good starting point - believing in yourself and that you are worthy of a relationship. How much do you care for yourself? @creepyengineer
@creepyengineer
I am curious: Is your alias telling something about how you see yourself too or it’s random?
The wish to have the special someone is so natural.
Being serious about your education at your age is important. I have the feeling you have some idea what your answers to some of your questions are. What would be the risk for you to enter any relationship? How much do you want it to mean? And how much carelessness could hurt you?
I think it is good to be you. Go to places you like. Do things you find meaningful. Be real you. That seems to create chances for creating good new connections. Get to know new people. Can you enjoy those limiting the pressure to find a romance? Being too focused on getting romantic relationship might make it unnatural and make enjoying your life more difficult. I believe that that being able to be happy, increases your chances for building a healthy relationship when it arrives.
Name is just random
My online game friend had this so using it.
Risk to enter might be my carrier tbh
I just don't wanna be lonely and find someone to hangout atleast some days.
Always I am all alone by myself
So when I see couples or even friends hanging out , I feel like why the *** am I alone AF???
@creepyengineer
What about the friends you mentioned earlier? Do you see them only rarely?
Yes only rarely
And no chat whatso ever
Very rare we chat also
Actually I don't drink and smoke
All my friends do
They go nd hangout together in bars etc
Which I m not comfortable in so bonding doesn't happen
They didn't used to drink/smoke before but last 2 years they have been
And in college in 3/4th year it's hard to make new frnds cos all have their own groups
@creepyengineer
Are you able to go places outside the collage? Were you able to check the book event you mentioned in another post?
Yes but I only met working professionals there above 26 or 27 years while I am looking for same age
I understand you want same age friends. It could still be worth giving a shot to at least have a chat with someone a bit older. You never know.
Yeah , it makes sense.
I will try going next week
It only happens on sundays
Let us know when you have new thoughts
Sometimes all you need is a friend. And believe me, there are more single people than couples. Nah, sometimes one gets carried away by the superficial image of a relationship; it is still a complicated and complex thing.
I don't happen to find a single girl In my city ngl , and finding new friends also tough at this 22 age cos a lot of people have their groups so...
Hey so this might be random but i totally get you. People always tell me that i will find someone in my area but it never happens.
You know that you can start building those friendships right here, right? Build friendships anywhere you can find them - go to concerts or art shows, pick up a hobby, join a workout group. Keep trying until something clicks.
You can do this. Other people are struggling to do it too. Start small. What one thing new can you try this week?
Maybe go to a book event
I don't like art gym and concerts
Not my forte
A book event sounds great! That is just my speed. What kinds of books do you like? @creepyengineer
All kinda
Finance
Love
Suspense
Spiritual
Motivation/inspiration
I hate horror, comedy and novel etc.
Those sound great! There are book events at book stores that are like talks that you could try. But also consider a library book club. Those are less attended by couples. You can do this and make the changes that you want. @creepyengineer
How have things been going? I have been thinking about you. @creepyengineer
They are okay, I still feel anxiety a little bit , but keeping myself busy , studying and going out on coffee alone:(
Started learning baking etc
Baking is great! What kinds of things are you baking? Would you ever consider a one day class? I know that the coffee shop feels like an alone place, but it isn't. Watch the people around you. Look for regulars. You can start to see patterns in the people that can make you feel less alone.@creepyengineer
All are busy with their own life.
Also even when I go I see only couples:( all the time
Baking/culinary class?No
I am self learner
Happy that way
The people working at the shop aren't couples. You could watch them instead. You will find people who are alone. You just have to see them rather than focusing so hard on couples or groups as a sign that you have somehow failed.
I can understand not wanting to do baking classes. What kinds of things did you bake this week? @creepyengineer
Chocolate brownie and chocolate fudge
I am trying my best to keep myself busy as much possible
I love those. Have you ever added a little bit of chili powder into the mix? It is surprisingly good.
I hope things are feeling a bit calmer for you this week. I have been thinking about you. @creepyengineer
No
Chilli powder?
Really?
That's crazy:)
Things have been better than before
Thanks for asking
I am so glad that things have been feeling a little better. I have been thinking about you. Feel free to check back here any time whether you are feeling up or down. I answer within 48 hours. @creepyengineer
It's actually hard to find your love. At the age of 23, I started my relationship, and now it has been going on for 11 years, but I am still not married, don’t have kids, and I don’t fully trust my partner. We are making a lot of progress in our relationship, but I still feel a barrier.
For me, it is also hard to handle life without a good partner. I think it is because of my interpretation of the world, because I see it as not a secure place.
And we try to find a person whom we can trust 100% with all our thoughts, so it is really hard to find such a person, but statistically it is actually possible, and the more you try, the more you increase the chance.
At your age, you have a lot of opportunities, and I’m sure that if you are yourself, sooner or later you will find the one.
Even I have trust issues
Like a lot
I thinks that's one of the reason ,I am not able to connect with anyone easily and properly...
I understood not so long ago that my desire for a good partner comes from my need for security in relationships. My childhood survival patterns created insecurity and anxiety: avoiding certain conversations, not saying what I really think, trying not to upset others, avoiding conflicts even when it doesn’t depend on me , and often ruminating after conflicts.
I understand that this is not my fault—I didn’t choose my childhood, and I can’t control other people’s behavior. But I can work on changing these patterns within myself.
At the same time, changing them is difficult. It requires going against my fears. In my case, this means starting spontaneous conversations, speaking honestly about what I think, and doing things like boxing. These actions can reduce the pressure in my daily life and make me feel happier.
As a result, I will rely less on the need for secure relationships. This doesn’t mean I won’t want trust and love, but I will be more independent from my childhood patterns and experience more enjoyment in life and in my relationship.
All people on this planet have different kinds of problems, but it depends only on you whether you are able to change something but gentle with yourself.
You are doing well avoiding harming yourself.
The advice given make friends is good.
Trust should be partial most can be trusted in some ways not in others.
Saying you have trust issues shows you likely have a desire to grow spiritually. You could find a spiritual community that could help you develop.
I understand the deep loneliness of being single. Solidad by Astor piazola I like. It’s good when you know others get it. It is not about something bad about you but part of life. You could find someone dysfunctional who wants any relationship, you pick to grow, too hopefully have a better relationship later.
Platonic bro hugs.
@creepyengineer
How are things for you?
Okish
Have been holding somehow
Started working on myself and goals
Trying to keep myself busy as much as possible
@creepyengineer This is nice. Baking can become an interest shared with someone in the future. Even if not, it helping to build your time is good on its own. The chocolate cakes sound delicious (based on your other comment).
Your are already a winner in the game. You have shared what is running in your mind. People looking in relationship had also faced the same as you are facing. There is no fixed sequence of happenings in our lives. Some people get good relationship first and then job or work. Be hopeful. Your time is coming soon.
Hii...u can dm me if u want a friend...
How to dm?
I don't know
Let's connect