Managing relapses
Over a year ago, i shared my depression and anxiety recovery journey in one of my threads… it’s like a breath of fresh air from me - full of hope and gratitude.
It scares me now to be filled with anxiety and intense sadness that might indicate a relapse… I tried bawling my eyes out earlier, and then reminded myself who i am outside of these waves of sadness i fear i let take control of me. I was energetic, happy i got a second chance at life - happy learning, being in new environment (outside of my comfort zone). I’m afraid of losing her. I was appalled this trigger had ripped open old wounds…
im at a loss now, but i know i’ll figure out somehow throughout the day… maybe weeks, maybe months… For now, i let this fear paralysed me
Sometimes I find myself obsessing a little too much with the whole CBT and ACT exercises lmao, been reading a lot of self-help for years too, and it's getting boringggggg
Sooooo I'd love some fiction books/movies/vids/games recommendations, even cooking recipessss lol. I know it deviates from depression support, or does it?? dk
anyway I'm into sweet n sour tofu lately - pretty affordable to whip and has good macros
recipe:
- 1 firm tofu
pat dry, slice horizontally in half and then slice vertically into column cubes
transfer them into a container with 2 tablespoons of corn starch/flour (add more if needed), shake it and make sure they are well coated
pan fry till golden brown, set aside
- 1 onion, chop into chucks
- 1 bellpepper, and half of a pineapple - if they're not within your budget, leave them out
grease the pan with maybe one tbsp of oil, sweat the onions for 1 min. then add in chopped bell pepper and pineapple chunks
- Sauce: 3 tbsp of ketchup, 2tbsp of white vinegar, 1 tbsp of sugar, 1 tbsp of oil, 1 tbsp of corn flour/starch, 100ml water
pour in the SAUCE and simmer it with the chopped onion. bell peppers, pineapple chunks for about 2 mins
once the sauce thickens and portion looks enough to coat the pan-fried tofu, dunk in the tofu. mix them well and it's ready to EATTTT
I'm leaving the recipe here in case depression hits and erases my ability to cook and enjoy cooking.
@yellowIdea7518 in a similar boat rn. how things can change so quickly. I know it is unrealistic to be happy all the time. but still.
@Magpi3ty sending you strength to feel loved and support you need despite what depression tells you. It might not be much especially in the throes of depression, I'm here to remind you you're valued here. Your presence matters.
If you feel overwhelmed with sadness, come on here and pour it out.
This is exactly how I feel! Except I did let the waves of sadness take over & Ive relapsed & continue to get high so I don’t have to feel the pain that I’m scared to feel.:
@Rocki23
I did too, and still do for many days/weeks/months. It felt and feels endlessly painful, like I'll never get out of it.
You're definitely stronger than that pain (even if it doesn't feel like it/almost unbelievable) but you are--you've rode the waves of sadness even though it did drown you out, and that is commendable enough--You had that come-what-may attitude, but currently the jabs of sadness beat you at it, and that's dreadfully ok for now because I believe you can make comebacks again and again, through the inevitable lapses.
In the crazy midst of it all, I hope you remember you always had that strength in you, even during your lapses, even if you don't see it. I see it.
Your post summoned the strength in me to ride the waves of sadness... I don't care if I'll make it out eventually or crash out... at least I face it.
this isn't just some motivation talk though it does sound like it lmao.
Idk if I've mentioned it a couple of posts before, but I dug up some of my journal entries I wrote during one of my many darkest days and was impressed that my resolve for betterment has never left me despite what my depressed head convinced me then.
see, we don't always have control over our heads i.e. when trauma hits the hippocampus, our amygdala (emotional brain) easily overwrites our prefrontal cortex (logical brain), so it takes *** lot of cognitive work to let our prefrontal cortex be at the helm again--like we're better off without trauma so the amygdala does not ever fire up so hard, but clearly that's not our case.
We all have that intrinsic strength and logic, that the amygdala hijacks, that we can turn the tables of.
We can enforce new pathways when traumatic experiences/memories hits, instead of getting high (reinforces/doubles the harm traumatic experiences), you can come onto 7cups to journal it (there's a private journal function if you want privacy). Journaling does put the prefrontal cortex back to work and quiet down our amygdala.
It is a lot of work, but it builds confidence in our ability to ride these unpleasant(understatement) waves of sadness.
There are many times I'd rather not deal with my sadness, but I never once regretted it.
I remember confessing to someone how emotionally destructive journalling during my darkest time is, it is like documenting my craziness and only craziness, and looking at how destructive my head can be.
that journal turned into the physical catalog of pain but also, and most importantly of my resilience.