Mental health rehab
I am heavily considering a rehab for mental health and addiction. I am completely unable to care for myself and struggle with eating, sleeping at night, and with marijuana and nicotine abuse. I have begun self harming in a way that I never have before by picking at the skin on my face over and over again, leaving red sores all over my face and neck, now down my chest too. I am suffering from severe anhedonia. I have no interest in anything. I have no friends at all, just my mom, stepdad, and older brothers. I barely leave the house or change my clothes, showering is nearly impossible and brushing my hair and teeth has not been happening. I have lost so much hair and end up having to brush out the mattes in my hair. Sometimes I can go 1-2 days without eating properly. I talk to myself all the time now, it's usually just self narration. I lost my 4 year job in May. My live-in boyfriend had cheated on me then moved out in June. I had to put down my beautiful dog because she had cancer in July. Someone threatened to blackmail me in the same month. I have very little will to keep fighting. I feel like I'm barely here.
Has anyone gone to an inpatient mental health rehab because of their severe depression? If so, what can I expect? I'm scared of it all. Thanks.
Hiya @crimsonNorth3665, thank you so much for opening up about everything you are going through. I can hear how much pain, loss and stress you've been carrying throughout your post, and this is far more than anyone should have to manage alone. I'm really sorry things have reached such a difficult point for you. It is understandable that your mind and body would be exhausted, and you deserve real support and safety.
Considering inpatient rehab is a brave step, even if it feels scary at first. The 24/7 structured support can make a big difference, particularly when daily functioning becomes almost impossible.
Every programme is different, and each hospital or rehab centre has its own routines, rules and structure depending on the type of treatment you are in. My experience (in the UK) was that the ward focused heavily on safety, making sure that everyone was protected and supported at all times. There were restrictions on certain items, set meal-times, and therapy groups that everyone was encouraged to attend. I had regular meetings with staff to talk about my progress, medication and what I needed day-to-day.
America/International programmes can vary a lot, but the core idea is the same. They want to stabilise you, keep you safe and build a foundation to continue recovery once you leave.
I know for me, making the step to go inpatient was the scariest thing I did. I didn't want to go at the time, and I was terrified of what it would be like. But looking back now, it was one of the best decisions I made for myself. It gave me a safe environment to stabilise, adjust medication properly, learn new coping skills and get back to a place where I could function again in the community.
You know best what will work for you and it sounds like you are considering all options of support at the moment. You've been through so much (losing your job, your relationship, your dog, dealing with blackmail, and now facing severe depression and addiction on top of it). Anyone would be struggling under that weight.
If you do want to keep sharing please feel free to use the forums, or request a chat with a 1:1 listener to discuss further! You are not alone in this! 💜
Emma