My story, looking for hope
Hey everyone.
I'd say my story is a bit different from most, but alas no two people are the same.
I just moved to a new country, got a new job as a teacher (I have 0 teaching experience), most of the students are terrible, noisy, loud, distracted, etc.
But most importantly, I left my loving family back home. My wonderful mom, dad, brother, and sisters.
It's been extremely difficult living on my own after spending my entire life alongside them at home, often taking for granted how much they love me and support me.
Even though they support my endeavors and they pushed me to accept this job, I can't help but feel huge amounts of regret everytime I think of them, or whenever I'm alone.
I call them every day but it feels like it just makes me miss them more and more.
I've only been here just under a week but the combination of living alone, high workplace anxiety, missing my family and old routine, and being at an all time mental low is taking a huge toll on me.
It's funny how I never understood those who don't eat, drink, or sleep and neglect their health due to sadness or depression, however I now find myself doing exactly that.
I've been extremely privelaged all my life to where I've never had any serious mental health problems. I've always been relatively happy, and almost never cried. The most stressful point of my life prior to this were university exams. These feelings are so new to me and so sudden. I really don't know what to do.
I have the power to fly back, leave this job, and never look back but my parents urge me to continue. That is the only thing keeping me strong.
I even get to see my mom soon as she's traveling to come see me, but it's months ahead. And I only get my break where I can fly home for a couple months next summer.
I'd love to hear from you guys, especially if you've gone through something similar and can help me with any tips or just acknowledging my pain.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, poorly structured and written as it is.
@VenusV
Moving to a new place doing new things especially if it is hard. Being alone for the first time really etc is a big shock and test of our mental health. Perhaps your parents realize this and encourage you to stay the course to learn to deal with things on your own and grow your independence. it is good to have a great family and support but we do need to learn to be independent.
This IMO is a good lesson to tackle a challenge to show yourself you can do this and you can do anything.
Thank you so much.
Yes, this is a challenge and I know I can get over it.
I know I'll emerge stronger than I was before, and I appreciate the wisdom.
@VenusV
Hi Venus, I totally understand how you feel. I used to be an international student (now returned to my country due to migration regulation changes) and being away from my family hit me hard during that time (pandemic times). It sounds like you're really struggling with routine now that you're doing things on your own and are away from family. I get it, it can be extremely hard to stick to a normal routine.
Something that worked for me during that time was to do activities in the city I was in (usually one-day art workshops or going to the movies, or trying out a new café). I would try to do free activities, go on walks, hang out with friends, etc. One thing that I will definitely ask you to really pay attention to is diet (this was one of the things I had struggled with the most during those depressive episodes). If you are able to eat balanced meals, sleep a decent amount of time, and do some physical activity, then you are on the right track. I know this might all sound easier said than done, especially with something as heavy as depression, but it is truly important.
I think the most important aspect is to have radical compassion for yourself. Depression is hard; very hard. In these moments you need some extra care. Think of it as nursing a kitten back to health after being sick for a while.
I know you miss your family a lot. If you can, talk to them regularly.
Be kind to yourself during this time, and hang in there. 💖
Hi.
Your message touched me and thank you for the wonderful words.
I'll try to stick to my diet as best I can.
Most importantly I'll try to have as much compassion for myself.
Thank you, again. ❤️
@VenusV
You're welcome! I wish you all the best in this new journey 💖
