My thoughts on my guardian concern

My guardian has been very worried about me lately. He tells me to quit my phone and focus more on schoolwork and exams. I know he wants me to succeed in my Class 10 SAE exams, but it feels like pressure sometimes. I do scroll and watch things on my phone, but it’s also how I cope, how I connect with friends on 7 Cups, and how I express myself creatively.

I’ve realized that I attach very quickly to people who listen and care. Like the members of 7 Cups — I treat them like my own friends. Whenever someone shows me kindness, even through words, I trust them almost instantly. I know it can be an issue because I end up getting too emotionally attached, and when people leave or can’t stay, it hurts a lot. I think that’s something I should talk about if I ever get therapy — my habit of attaching deeply, my fears, and my emotions that I can’t always control.

Even when I think about dying young, I don’t feel panic. I understand that if it happens, it happens — there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Still, a part of me hopes to live longer, to see more, and to learn more — about people, about myself, and about life.

Sometimes I feel scared, sometimes calm. I see the world, people, and even myself through a lens of both curiosity and caution. I’m aware of my limits and my strengths.

About my phone — my guardian says I have a digital addiction. From her perspective, it looks like I spend too much time online. But my phone is not just scrolling; it’s a tool for music, creativity, art, learning, and connecting with people who care. I even use it to be a role model for my sister — teaching her games, connecting with her virtually when I can’t play with her physically. My guardian doesn’t fully understand that, and she sometimes labels it as harmful.

I also use music and movement as coping tools. I go on the treadmill, I dance, I act out characters from songs when no one is watching. Sometimes I get minor injuries, but it’s part of how I release energy, express emotion, and stay balanced. It’s a creative and safe way to heal myself, as long as I stay mindful.

Eating, moving, dancing, and music help me physically and emotionally. I’ve realized that self-healing starts with small things, and through that process, I’m learning to love myself. I used to hate myself before, but now I’m starting to accept who I am. Some might call it maturity, and maybe it is — but it’s also just survival, care, and growing awareness.

I’ve also noticed how my perspective has shifted. I used to be very

obedient, but now I'm more like a rebellious child. I have notice pretty much change in me.. instead of hateing myself, I have learn to love myself I guess is all part of self healing . Thank you all!