Need help please
Hello, I hope you are well.
I will share a bit of my life story in summary. For those who prefer to skip this part, go directly to the conclusion. I'm not very good at telling stories, so sorry if it might be challenging to read.
I was born in 2005 and lived happily until 2013. I was innocent, liked by many, and grew up in a beautiful environment with my parents and older sister. In 2013, my parents decided to move to a neighboring country for financial reasons, despite warnings from my sister. I lived in a village for 4 years, experiencing bullying at school due to my weight. I struggled to adapt, but eventually made friends with Taylor, someone of the same nationality as me. In 2017, my parents separated, and my mom and I moved near the border of our home country.
In 2018, I started a new school, but problems persisted. I took boxing classes, but in 2019, I returned to my home country. In 2020, I changed my life, becoming a diligent student. I started high school in 2021, but the following year, I questioned that decision. In 2022, I had to start over in a new school. In June 2023, I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD.
In conclusion:
Since 2020, I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts due to my difficulty in finding my path. I feel inadequate, lost in career choices at the age of 15. Life's contradictions disturb me, and I wonder why being good doesn't guarantee happiness. These feelings persist, and despite my sister's support, I feel disconnected from life. I seek to be more independent and become a better person.
I'm here for further discussion if needed.
@Bigoudi07 At 15 life choices are daunting. We learn to be less stressed by life choice through experience and failure. Through hardship and overcoming it. Some of us have more or different challenges than others, but the way through is to just keep going. I’m glad you’re here for support.
Good day to you,
I personally have struggled with the idea of s*icide and although it may seem like an answer I can tell you it's not. You are important to this world even though you want to convince yourself that you are not. At the age of 15 I would suggest taking up some sort of hobby, anything really.
I tried video games for a while but ultimately felt that it's not anything meaningful. So one day, I decided to buy 2 boards of wood from a hardware store. I have a general idea on how to do basic carpentry, so I challenged myself to make a birdhouse. I never made one before this so it was quite the challenge, but having that challenge reminded me that I only limited myself due to talking myself down during this build.
I made plenty of mistakes during measuring cuts and had to freehand a router without a guide, but I wanted this to be as perfect as I could make it, so when I felt overwhelmed I would walk around or find another to do task. What I thought would have taken a few hours turned into a 2 plus day project.
Once it was finished, I felt a sense of accomplishment, as though I am not as worthless as I convinced myself I was. Ask yourself what do you enjoy, if it's sports then play sports or take equipment and customize it to YOUR liking, if you like art then draw or paint a busy corner in your home. Whatever it is that you decide to try out, remember that your finished product may not be perfect, but it's yours and that is all that matters.
If you continue to be harsh on yourself you could miss the moment of hope you are looking for. You can do great things once you give yourself the chance to prove it.
@Bigoudi07 hi sweetie I'm lola ❤ I'm so sorry you were moved around so much. And sorry your parents split😞 bullying is so very wrong, people don't seem to understand how much their actions can affect another person. I hope you can with time heal, from the traumas and hardships your life has given you. Not knowing about your future path is ok ❤ most people don't even when their 40 years old. So try not to worry to much about that ❤ and happiness well that comes from within, it's not a attitude or a place. It's you, you can create your own happiness, after all that's what life is about 🙂❤ you did so well reaching out here, please don't be afraid to reach out to a listener aswell ❤ we are all here for you ❤ how are you feeling right now?