Nothing..

In my 40's had a deeply traumatic life that will forever be embedded inside of me and always front and center of everything..and will always haunt me.

I've been through soo much trauma, exclusion, isolation, abuse of many kinds, being unloved, being uncared for, etc ... That there's nothing left.

There's just nothing left of me. I have nothing left of me to give. Not even to myself.

I just mope around all day lost In trauma and in my head and doomscrolling trying to distract myself and stop from feeling.. nothing ever works.

I'm forever unemployed and can never work, friendless, no boyfriend/girlfriend, no family, I am confined to the house don't like being outside, don't like being around people nor interacting much, inside 24/7. .had PTSD and anxieties my whole life, body is giving out, in poor health, watching the non losers and world go by from a window...

I'm exhausted by life and existence. There's nothing left..there never was anything