Really depressed and anxious
This year has already been a wave of emotions. I hate my hometown and my home In general, I hate everything there and the only people keeping me going are my family (parents and two brothers). My school life is ***, I have no friends and the place is so suffocating, I barley even attend anymore and I just can’t go on a day without having a major panic attack. Most of my classmates dont like me because of a falling out I had with them last summer, I’m looked down upon and I’m alone 92% of the time. Not just that, the building is dull, dark and suffocating. Just thinking about school gives me major chest aches and anxiety I cannot bare going there.
I deal with separation anxiety too. I don’t like being far from my mom she’s my comfort source and the only person who understands me. I also don’t like to be far away from my former father figure which I don’t see anymore and causes me great distress and my new friend (K)
every time we travel I get heavily attached to the city we’ve went off too mostly (Dublin) which I consider a second home a place I feel more free than where I am now. I hate home I feel like there’s no hope for me to get out of this stupid place, everyone knows me and has their eyes on me, traditions must be followed and rules here aren’t very open minded, causing me more distress as I am queer.
i struggle with immense depression and a few symptoms of PTSD from post trauma making it impossible for me to go to school or survive a normal situation that is for some reason causing me worry. Idk what to do.
@Taintedrose112 Hello there, the good news is at least you have a supporting family, especially your mother who understands and supports you. Have you talked to her about what happened to you at school? I think she has good advice for you. My advice for you is do not let those people haunt you, be yourself, and focus on your study as studying is the only way that you could leave your hometown eventually and start a new life on your own. I know that's gonna be hard, maybe you could try homeschooling and study on your own? With a supporting family, I think you can work out a plan together. Do not take it all by yourself, let your family and friends help you together to survive this hard time. Good luck to you!
I can really feel your pain in where you are right now. It sounds like your mom is solid support, but you could use some other people as well. Do you have any professionals who you talk to about your depression and anxiety? Those are really good starting points. @Taintedrose112
Hello everyone I am new here and I am just trying to cope with the after effects of several major traumatic events that suffered during course of my life. Sorry about the lack of punctuation in my writing I have carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands. Plus one major life changing event that recently is effectively caused my anxiety and depression and paranoia to kick in to overdrive. Coming out to myself about being bisexual and now I am suffering from the aforementioned issues now. Plus longterm effects of growing up in a very dysfunctional family combined with being from a broken home at a young age. The other I suffered from a sexual exploitation experience when I was a child that still haunts my life to this day. And effects my ability to trust anyone. Combined with everything thing that has happened in my life i am grateful that I am still here.
I think u posted this in the wrong area ahah
@Taintedrose112 I think I did post to wrong area
As I clicked over apparently the name of the chat had scrolled up and didn't see it sorry about that if it screwed up the flow of the discussion
You haven't messed up any flow. We can actually talk anywhere. @BeeFree82
This isn't in the wrong area at all. I am sorry for the trauma you have experienced. Welcome. Feel free to keep sharing here or start your own thread. @BeeFree82
I meant wrong area as in they accidentally wrote it under my post :)
@bestVase7265
Thank you bestvase8276
How are things going today?@BeeFree82
@bestVase7265 I am going through the process of accepting my sexuality but still have those nagging questions am I straight or am I ⚤. Even though I accept my sexuality. I am still afraid to commit and go out on a date with a guy or kiss one. I am to terrified to go all the way. Had an opportunity to be with a man and a woman at the same time. An amazing opportunity to fulfill my ultimate sexual fantasy sex with each sex at the same time and I chickened out. I was to afraid to fully accept and participate in my new life choice. Which is why my depression and anxiety are on overdrive. I am trying to figure out what I am but I only feel more confused than I was before. But I am working through this with help from here and my own process of dealing with my feelings of sexuality . Plus the depression and anxiety I am experiencing over this on going question of my life. One that can't be resolved overnight but over a long-term process of self reflection and a healing process for the depression and anxiety this is causing me. Thank you for taking the time ⌚ to check on me.
You are right about sexuality being something that you can figure out over the long term. It might be easier to think about it all as something that evolves. You didn't chicken out. It was something that didn't feel quite right at that moment. Maybe later it will feel better. I know that my own views have also evolved over the years. What I am able to do and what I can fantasize about will always be different. That is okay. @BeeFree82
Thank you for the support and your willingness to listen.
We support one another. You are headed in a good direction. Keep telling yourself that. @BeeFree82
