Should I text and try to get her back?
My relationship of 3 years ended because she had trust issues she texted asking me for her gifts back and to delete anything I had of us/her I have not been able to stop crying and I just want her back she says she doesn't love me anymore but 6-8 days before she said that we made plans to maybe come back together but she fully ended it at a sleepover. Should I text her or should I wait?
@hardworkingGlobe2928 - Sorry you are going through this.
I think texting is not a great way to maintain/end a relationship, but I know everyone does it. With a text neither party has any real idea how the other is genuinely feeling. You can't look her in the eyes, have a face-to-face talk with her. I think if you've been together for 3 years, and those have been good times, there may be something deeper going on, that a text will not reveal. Why, after 3 years, are there now trust issues? What triggered that? I would wait a few days and then reach out again for an in-real-life meeting to see what's going on. Good luck.
Dating 3 years is a long time and this seems like an abrupt ending. If it were me, I would step back and look at the whole relationship objectively if possible.
What other problems were there, aside from trust issues? Was I doing anything for her to question my loyalty?
What things did we argue about the most?
It is possible feelings can change, but were there warning signs? Did she mention this before?
Maybe she needs space to clear her head before she can give real answers. Hopefully you will get closure, whatever the outcome.
For me, I find it difficult to think clearly when I'm involved, but once I step back, it's easier to figure out what to do next.
Take care of yourself :)
@hardworkingGlobe2928
I would agree with other poster that in person communication is best to try to fix relationships. body language and tone is not in texts and IMO is reason people often make assumptions on some texts.
a person has had other issues happening to lose feelings there is more to talk about.
@hardworkingGlobe2928 I've got no advice, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this 😞 and I hope the pain eases soon 💙
Dating for 3 years is a long time, and it’s completely normal that you feel devastated and can’t stop crying right now. Your pain is valid. However, when someone explicitly asks for their things back and says they don’t love you anymore, pushing or texting out of desperation usually achieves the exact opposite of what you want.
Relationships are a two-way street. It doesn't make sense to do all the heavy lifting and force a connection when the other person is clearly not in the same headspace or is asking for distance.
My advice is to give her space and wait.
Taking a step back right now is not the same as giving up on her or on what you had; it is an act of respect toward her boundaries and, more importantly, a way to protect your own mental health. You cannot burn yourself out or ruin your own well-being trying to fix something that the other person is actively pushing away.
Use this time to breathe, look after yourself, and let the storm calm down. If there is any chance of a mature conversation in the future, it will only happen once you’ve both had time to process this properly. Take care of yourself first.
Dating for 3 years is a long time, and it’s completely normal that you feel devastated and can’t stop crying right now. Your pain is valid. However, when someone explicitly asks for their things back and says they don’t love you anymore, pushing or texting out of desperation usually achieves the exact opposite of what you want.
Relationships are a two-way street. It doesn't make sense to do all the heavy lifting and force a connection when the other person is clearly not in the same headspace or is asking for distance.
My advice is to give her space and wait.
Taking a step back right now is not the same as giving up on her or on what you had; it is an act of respect toward her boundaries and, more importantly, a way to protect your own mental health. You cannot burn yourself out or ruin your own well-being trying to fix something that the other person is actively pushing away.
Use this time to breathe, look after yourself, and let the storm calm down. If there is any chance of a mature conversation in the future, it will only happen once you’ve both had time to process this properly. Take care of yourself first.
