Spiral..
Last month, my gf broke up with me. I gave that girl my everything. Love paragraphs, trust, communication, understanding, princess treatment, everything I felt she deserved. And I grew VERY. VERY. attached only to get hurt 8 months later. She was an avoidant with Bipolar Disorder, so the rls had its rough moments. But it was sooo healthy. Idk what went wrong. Anyway, the day she broke up with me was the WORST. I bawled my eyes out, went to school looking drained, and just felt awful. I kept checking her reposts on *** only to find out she moved on SO fast. Not even 3 days after the breakup, mind u. Ts *** me up baddd. Not to mention, I found out she told her hb that she wasn’t even planning on staying wit me for too long, nd that we never left the talking stage, nd that I rushed everything when she literally matched energy. Nd I always made sure she was comfortable nd took my time with her. Ts made it even worse. Fast forward a couple days later, I add this stud on ***. She’s cute and all, but I don’t think she’s loyal. Still, I fell for her and I’m with her now. But I don’t think I’m truly ready to be with her. Ik she’s just a distraction to stop me from thinking abt my ex bcs I miss her like crazy. But I can’t leave, nd ik that’s bad. But I’m lowkey spiraling, and nobody can see it. I’m hurt, confused, nd craving smth that only a rls can give me. Even though this stud has red flags, I still can’t leave. Ik I should, but I can’t. And I know I’m not okay, but I want to be. And I wish everyone would stop yelling at me and give me a minuet. I really need a *** minuet. As someone who was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, I just really need a minuet. And I feel alone, and like nobody is listening or understanding me. So much has happened. I’ve been hurt SO many times. Nd now I’m spiraling. Nd I’m losing myself. Ik I need help, but idk where to find it. I just want ppl to see that I’m trying. I really am.
@unassumingJet7768
I can see you care.
And it's sad that your gf could treat you like this.
With very little regard.
I know it's not easy to hear, but your current stud as you put it
, deserves more than someone just being with her to full time.
You need to heal.
And learn what you want and deserve from any future relationships 🩵
@unassumingJet7768
It must feel terrible. And it might be why you want to fill that space with anything. It sounds like setting yourself for more hurting though, don't you think?
Your story is being rewritten by someone you trusted. I once was told by someone I loved that they whish to forget me - even though I didn't do anything deserving being forgotten and they just wanted to move on with another person. It messes up with your head. Years and years latter, I believe the best what can be done is to focus on your truth. Accept her need to say what she says. Think about the warmth and care you gave. It was real for you. This part of you is still real. That part deserves to be treated with care by you. Meaning getting ready and taking time to choose wisely who you wanna entrust it next.
About the new girl. You don't want to use her like your ex used you. Sure you would not say to others or her that you never were serious about her to hurt her but internally you already know.