Spiraling down..
I'm 30 yra old, I have a 6 yr old and had a fiancée of 5 years who was a great step-dad.
Over the last several weeks I've had a lot of anger/rage and was lashing out at everyone. Last Sunday I started to hole myself up in my room not talking to anyone and barely eating. Wednesday night I spoke to my fiance to tell him this was me at my lowest point and I made the mistake of telling him if he couldn't handle this he had to walk away. Thursday he got up and left for work early like normal and he's usually there until 4:30 pm. He shower up around 10 am with friends to grab stuff to leave and said he needed time. I bawled my eyes out and begged him to stay so we can work it out but he left. I reached out to him Friday to see if we could talk but he kept saying things like "Please not yet. I don't have the words together please just take this time for you and rest and heal please." Friday I did make any appointment to see my doctor to get back on my depression meds. And I have been trying to find a therapist or someone to talk to but with it being the weekend that's been really hard. I've reflected on the Bible some which helps for a moment but my anxiety come in huge waves that makes me feel so panicky I feel like I'm losing the battle with my mind. And of course I'm writing all of this at 5 am because I woke up and feel like my chest is in a vice and meditation has been helping.
I’m a man who had a woman who lashed out for no reason like you. I left and I didn’t come back. If you want There to be a chance to get him back:
This is how a man interprets what you said and did “I’m going to be angry and lash out everyone including you for no reason, This is the real me, Deal with it. I’m testing you and I require you to committ to an unlimited pass for the future To treat you this way, even though you don’t deserve it.”
The only way I would’ve come back to her as if she would have instead said How much she incredibly appreciates Who I was as a mentor and as a man. and then some Deep self-awareness in the moment And you promising that When you are Hitting bottom In the future That you will Say I don’t know why I am feeling this way It’s a terrible feeling I appreciate you so much That you are willing to stay, For some reason, I feel full of anger and I’m lashing out at everybody and it’s nothing personal and it’s no excuse and I wish I could change how I’m feeling right now Especially to the most wonderful guy, I know the best guy in the world, And to my old child, I am full of anger and rage right now that I don’t even understand, but I love you so much thank you for standing by me.
Try promising that you’re going to say that rather than promising him that you’re just gonna do the same thing 1 million more times and challenging his manhood by saying “ If you can’t handle this”… Just know that those same words apply to you. If you can’t handle Showing him love and understanding and appreciation for Being lashed out at For no reason, I’m sorry to say it, but there’s a good chance you’re gonna be looking for another guy, And the guys who are great mentors To somebody else’s kid are rare.
I’m sorry if this sounds like tough love I really want you to succeed and get him back, So I’m just being honest How a man hears things. And pray a lot, so that’s a really big deal.
Thank you for those words it really helped me to put things in another perspective. I did try to reach out to him to say how much I appreciated him and that I wanted to talk and work things but never got a response.. but thank you for taking the time to post on this.
