Starting to lose more hope
I been feeling sad, hopeless, and empty. My grandma isn't a very nice woman, and she tries to keep me down and prevent me from doing things that should be easily accessible. She doesn't let me use the washing machine to clean clothes, and she doesn't want me using the shower that much, or the car. I can't get a job yet or have proper hygiene, and I'm just starting to lose hope of living out a somewhat normal life, because I been living like this since I was thirteen and I'm twenty now
@shyWalker5389 I'm so incredibly sorry that you are going through this. Hearing that you have been living under these restrictions since you were thirteen, essentially your entire adolescence is heartbreaking. It makes total sense that you feel hopeless and empty; anyone would feel that way when their basic needs for hygiene, movement, and independence are being controlled or denied.
Please know that this is not your fault, and what you are describing is a deeply unfair and stifling environment. You've spent seven years in a survival mode that most people can't imagine. It is okay to grieve the normal life you feel you've missed out on. Being denied access to a washing machine or a shower isn't just about cleanliness; it's a way of stripping away your dignity. It is understandable that this is affecting your mental health. Even though you feel empty right now, the fact that you are reaching out and articulating your situation shows that there is still a part of you fighting for a better life.
Please don't believe the lie that your life is over because it hasn't started the way you wanted. Twenty is still so young, and while these years have been stolen from you, the rest of your life doesn't have to belong to her. You are a person of worth, regardless of whether you have access to a car or a washing machine right now.
@shyWalker5389Umm, hi! Yes, this is... A difficult situation... It's hard for me to read this... But dear, remember that your loved ones want to protect you and only want the best for you! Even if they don't understand that this is harmful to you^^" If anything, I'm always open to discussions and your emotions, we can discuss this issue in more detail!^^